He's Back!!!

When I walked into the house I thought I heard his voice but since he has been gone for so long I thought i was just hearing things. I proceeded up the steps into my bedroom and there he was....all 6 plus feet of him, i couldn't believe my eyes. It had been almost a year since I last saw him...I knew he was going to leave I just wasn't ready for it. He reminded me that i knew this love affair wouldn't last long and that he would return, so i have been waiting for him. Every night since June I would sit up late in my bed and wait to hear his voice and see his face but he would never come, so him being right here right now just felt right to me. I know that him being back would only be temporary so i need to enjoy every moment with him. For two hours I laid in my bed and watched every move that he made just taking him all in because after these next 12 weeks he will be gone in the wind once again. Before he left me he did give me a preview of what was to come for me which left thirsty for him. So Same time same place Him an I shall meet again...just for an hour just so we can be together once again....

The new season of .....

has satrted and I'm back to being in love with.....

Omari Hardwick

I shall be coming home in a timely manner each and every Wednesday to spend time with my boo!! its going to be a great 12 weeks!

I remember the last birthday we spent together...I still see his 6' 4 frame holding on to my hand as we walked into the Go-Go I didn't want to be there at all it just wasn't my scene but for him i would do anything for. So if going to the go go is what he wanted then so be it, I tried my hardest to act like i wasn't having any fun at all I spent most of my time standing on the wall drinking and just people watching. When i thought no one was looking i would two step and sing along with the song but the moment he turned around it was back to just standing. He knew it was all a front but he never called me out on it. The last songs was about to play and I turned to get a new drink and he was standing in front me smiling from ear to ear, he didn't smile often so I always remember his smile...he grabbed my arm and said" you gotta dance for my birthday" he yanked me off the wall and onto the dance floor, thats were him and i stayed until lights cut on and it was time to go. Everything after that is pretty much a blur which makes me sad because as the years pass by I lose more and more about him. I know he will always be in my heart and nothing can replace him but i get mad at myself for not remembering everything about our time together. It feels each year gets shorter and shorter without him here....

Today marks another birthday come and gone, another day I wish he was still here. I thought that as the years went on my heart wouldn't ache so much for him but that proved to be untrue today. Truth be told I cry for him everyday...when people don't understand me, when i just need to talk, when life is giving me too much ..tears might not roll down my cheeks but i cry for him, the only man who really understood the only man who i can say I truly love I know he wouldn't want me to cry today rather celebrate the day god planted him on this earth but its had to do so when you know the person will never be here again to bring in all these birthdays with us.

So before i fill this post up with nothing but tears let me just say ...Happy 26th Birthday Roshon! I know where ever you are you're bring in your birthday right!!!! R.I.P.