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It is hard to find trust worthy female friends and trust me I few of those. I have learned that female friends aren’t really my strong area. The ones I thought we would be friends forever proved me wrong and the other I just out grew. Like the one who said I was jealous of the life she was living..huh?.. yeah that one is still pondering. A year and half ago I lost a friend who, only after a short time I thought we would be friends for a long time….I was so wrong at that time. So I was shocked when I saw a email from her land in my email…I originally rolled my eyes at the email and deleted it just I fought myself all day about reading it. The last time I heard from her via email she basically said fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
I read it responded and continued on with my life, yeah I could’ve tried to mend the whole situation but had no real desire too. I’m only gonna let u do me wrong once and then I move on. I finally opened her email after about 8 hours of debate; I braced myself for the good and the bad. I read the email at least 100 times I couldn’t decide if this was the same person who “broke up” with me a year and a half ago. The letter was the opposite from the one before it was just her raw emotional, her apologetic feeling. Now if you don’t know I can be a total bitch and for some reason she just couldn’t come out completely. She fought with softer side of me, I wanted to say fuck this bitch and move on with my evening my feelings wouldn’t let me do it. After a lot of soul searching, calls to khaki and Lil Richmond, I emailed her back. A part of me wanted to tell her how I wish it never happened and lets be friends but the bitch in me voted against that. I will say the email was so incomplete that I sent it was just an acknowledgment of I saw it, read it and now I’m just letting you know. 3 days later it still haunted my heart I just couldn’t let it go like that. I finally got myself together and sent what I really meant to say….Needless to say I did..she responded and now we are working on building a better friendship. It is very hard for me to trust females so that is why I don’t have many or rather few females I call my friends. Even after a year and a half this friendship feels right, I hope this time around things can change because I really did enjoy the past and how much we related to each other I guess time will tell.
