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So I havent blogged in a lonv time. My
life is pretty boring and is full of work and school....and I hate my job!! I
am trying to do better...way better and blog once a month but it is a
consistent struggle. Let me see where I should start with what has been going
on.
I dont if I shared it before but let me
share it again, lil Richmond and I broke up. This was hard hard thing for me
because I was in love well at least I thought I was. He basically woke up one
day called me angry and I said I dont wanna do this no more..he didnt want more
kids..a wife..the white pickett fence or dog. It crushed me..I was confused and
sad for a long period of time. Deep down inside I wanted to scream dont do this
I love you but I got too much pride for that. Needless to say I moved on..we
dont speak and that is for the best. I have seen a couple of men since them but
only two have made me so omg I like him! One still lingers around he is a
wonderful person I just know it aint going nowhere. The second *sigh* well lets
say he played me well.. Very well. One minute everything is great I am in his
city with him having fun laughing jokin flirting attending his dj events with
him and the next minute he is on ig flexin IG hash tagging a pic of him and a chick
with #mylady. His time around here borrowed and payback for him will be sweet
*shrugs*
I had an old male friend return into my
life...he came around at one of my lowesf points in my life. Unknown to many I
have battled depression and off for a couple of years and his return was around
the time my depression was at its highest point. He was there to provide
support while I sorted things out. I thank for him that. I didnt want to or
rather I have been fighting for years but I definitely like him far more than I
thought I did. He walks I to a room my stomach gets butterflies...I see his
name pop up on my phone I smile BUT...I know him and I will never be...for a
list of reasons...it is hard to I like someone much more than they know. It
kinda saddens me what I guess so is life.
I have officially given up on love and meeting someone great. ..I know I
shouldnt but hey im over it all. I dont know how I got here nobody is suppose
to be here but I am
