Just Not The Same Without You...

Last night I was looking through all my pics from this fourth of July weekend and realized through all the smiling faces, good food and laughs that there was one thing missing...Roshon. U may ask who this is and he is one of my closest friends....hmmmm..let me take that back he was one of my best friends who died Oct. 5 2007 . Its been almost two years since he left this earth but the void of him not being here is very much present. His death was one of the hardest time of my life and continues to be, getting over him not being here kind of feels numb to me. I still remember our last conversation and the last time i saw him, those two days play in my mind from time to time when I miss him. One of the last things he said to me was " you know you'll always have me" and in more than one was he was right. I tired everything to ease the pain of his death but nothing really worked from the RIP. tattoos to his picture being everywhere in my home the void was still something I hadn't over come.,that's was until a couple of months ago. I was sleep in my bed when i felt a scratch on the bottom of my foot(that's was something he did when he came to my house in the wee hours of the night to wake me) I woke up to see him just standing there smiling at me and when i finally awaken fully he was gone and that follow night i had another dream of him calling me on my phone and he said was "its okay. I'm good now, you need to be too.) and at that moment i knew I had to pull myself together and make him proud. I only told this story to a selected few..I didn't want my family to think I'm crazy but those two dreams really made it all clear to me. I want to make him proud of me and not fell burden that he had to leave so soon. Of course I would rather him be here in the flesh to share all those holidays and birthday with us but god had a different plan for him and I think I'm okay with that now. But life will forever remain just not the same without you...