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One of my young friends since the day I have met her has had some issue or another with her boyfriend *rolls eyes* At first I never really spoke on her situation when she shared her stories of this and that of their relationship matter of fact most of the time i wasn't really listening to most of them...I remember being that young girl wrapped up in a semi older dude and thinking that he was the love of my life no matter how wong he does me..so thats is why i often opted out of the older a lil wiser advice for her. I didn't want to be that friend who was preachin' to her lawd knows we all hate that friend and i knew the moment any advice or thoughts left my mouth things would change between us...which shouldn't but i watched her do the same with other ppl so be it. I've been there to save her from alot of situations with him....the night he put her out @ 4am, the time he left her in downtown DC, handed her tissues when she cried I guess I took over the big sister role for her, she reminds me so much as myself @ 22 that its scary cuz i know my nose was wide open for my bf @ the time.
Christmas eve marked another day she calls me upste about what he has done....this time i smh...and just listened to the foolishness that this break up was about..she wouldn't drop him off @ his fathers house *bbm straight face* she poured her ehart out to me cried while telling me he said fuck x-mas don't get me shit and we are through....smh...Of course I wasn't gonna comment too much on the situation just offer a couple of he"ll get over it and stop crying word but this time when i opened my mouth to speak those word they didn't actually leave they just filled me thoughts. I told her what it really was ...."Courtni, you are far ove in love with him then he is with you...like are u serious just two weeks ago he put you out his house and didn't think twice about it. When are you going to get tired of the back and forth shit and call it quits? he's playing and you allow it to go on...before you get tired and figure out who Courtni is without him...shit take a mental help day" She didn't respond the whole time i was talking matter of fact i tired to stop myself from saying the things i know she didn't want to hear but fuck it that is what friends are for to give you the truth when you don't want to hear it. She took a deep breath when it was all over and nicely excused herself from our phone conversation...
and of course her and her bf got right back together filling my TL on twitter with I wish he was he/she was here tweets.... and just like I thought she hasn't spoken to since that day..I know sometimes the truth hurts and in this case she definitely needed to hear it...@ 22 I thought almost the same way thought that maybe things would get better or that when we are good things are wonderful but in reality it just made me age much faster than what i wanted to. It is hard watching her chase after something that isn't chasing her. I thought I felt bad about what i said maybe because with her I baby her much more than the others...give her a little bit more soft words but hell I'm her friend and the truth needed to spoken... especially since she wonders why she doesn't have any real friends....hmmmm maybe because the roller coaster ride with ur BF is just too much for them...and shit if you can't have the relationship with your friends that sometimes you get a reality check then why are we even friend...hell thats what they are for. I thought about calling her and smoothing things over with her but *shrugs* I'm not apologizing for what is the truth nor my thoughts...I didn't start appreciating advice from older friends until it was too late ...I'm 27 and still enjoy a reality check from old head friends...trust me I get from @studiogenius often...which I value alot....
Maybe in 2011 she will get over it maybe she won't but that is exactly what friends are for....
2 comments:
Sunshine don't apologize. That's just like going back on your word and you meant what you said. Later on in life, maybe even six months from now, it will all click with her. Some of her situations sound like similar ones I had with my college boyfriend...we didn't break up until this past year when I was 22. One day it will just click but she has to come around on her own like you, me, and other women have. Under no circumstances should you feel bad or regret being an honest friend.
don't apologize. sometimes you have to tell ppl shit they don't wanna hear. but remember that just because you don't want them to go through the hurt..sometimes that's what they need to gain that experience for themselves. because sometimes ppl won't just take your word for it. and no matter how much sense something makes to you..she's sitting there looking at you like.."huh"..ok thanks girl"..
wisdom is wasted on the young. the older you get the more you understand that. the more you see all the shit you ignored when you were younger. and the advice you try to pass on, will be ignored the same way. always be that friend who chin checks because one day they'll appreciate it.
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