Random thoughts while being bored.....

That damn groundhog predicted spring would come early....well bitch where the hell is it?!? * puts mittens and Nothface back on*

These fuckin' gas prices are killing me...fast and breaking my pockets...somebody get Obama on the phone.

I shall admit this class i'm taking right now isn't so bad i might enjoy this school stuff or...maybe not?

Oh Bird How i miss thee...I need a good laugh, a good massage and some good.....ha! u already know

I realized this morning I was so in the wrong with something but led him to believe i was completely right....lol...i'll never tell him.

I think i offended my male friend when i told him he will not be tattooing me at all..one because all this tatts look like jail house shit and two i don't want a dragon that turns out looking like a worm...nope..i refuse!

I'm currently planning...2 baby showers, my niece's birthday party, a girl night in and my birthday!!! someone HELP ME!

if lil richmond and i don't work out i will not date a man with kids and baby mamas ever again...cuz right now...yeah i'm over him and kids and baby mamas!

I wanna buy something..what idk but i just want to order it and it be on my doorstep waiting like xmas!

I have been going to the gym and I hate it!!! with all my being and passion i hate it...

i was diagnosed with the beginning stages of diabetes...i didn't know what to think at first but it has helped me change my life and get healthy....no worries for now.

I have been apply for jobs in different cities..Miami, Atlanta, Chicago, Los Angeles..... I'm over DC i need a change asap..new ppl...new city new things...

I haven't a drink since January and I have given up soda...but else is left in life for me to enjoy?!?

I have never been close my cousin Ley but lately it has been me and her riding strong....I enjoy our time together she gets me...and she's mean just like me! Ha!

I went against my better instinct and got a Brazilian done...chillllleeeeeeeeee...It will never happen again..i don't care much who in the hell like its that shit is not meant for me.....

The End!

To Spanx or Not to Spanx, that is the Question

I was on twitter the other day and a certain tweet caught my attention that was rt'd by Diana boss.

RT @bereolaeque LADIES TIP: Spanx prevents intimacy.

#unpleasantries.

I think I follow ole dude too but i had to miss this tweet because of course I had alot to say about it.

Now I love me some me some Spanx! Spanx has saved me a time or two from some not so pretty situation, a tight dress and something to hold me in and smooth me out...Spanx was there to make the evening right. I think this tweet made me pay attention because this man tweets often about accepting a person for who they are..hmmmmmm..anyways...I use to hide the fact that I have a Spanx on or own one because the man in my life would judge me. Hell I rip that thing off as soon as i got in the house before he arrived or I would pull it off in the car right before i entered his house. I didn't want him to know that i need extra help to look at least decent in my sexy outfits. It wasn't until my friend shared her "horror" story about her Spanx that I let that fear go. Long story cut short, she went on a date with a guy, had a great time, they went back to her place ad things at hot and heavy and she forgot she had her Spanx on....*clutches parls* She felt it and saw, she runs to bathroom takes it off and the next morning he tells her he saw her Spanx knows what it is and doesn't care! EXACTLY!! he didn't care and most men don't! After that story I decided i shall not hide my Spanx ever again...and # years later I haven't, any man i have been with since that day was very aware of my Spanx and if they didn't know what it was I taught him and he was over it before I had a chance to even sweat it at all.

Despite what alot of women think men are very less critical than we are, much less if you didn't already know and much more understanding which i had to learn from own personal experiences. They understand that we all are not perfect and can't have the body of many of those chicks that they lust over on tv, in movies and magazines. I have never have a man turn down intamcy because he saw my spanx..matter of fact for the ones i didn't pre warn about it they acted as if they didn't even see it. I personally think its all in how you deal with it, if you make it a big deal, he will make it a big deal...men really have no problem in you putting it on..whatever makes you feel sexy and look sexy the are with. And if a man is so extra concerned about the Spanx you are wearing then he is not that dude for you and if he makes a big deal about it once again he is not eh man for you...because a stand man would accpet you for who you are Spanx included. A spanx is not like a booty pop or extra push of boob...its does make something you don't have appear, it makes what you already have better.

So damn you to hell @bereolaeque for your input because hmmm yeah me and my spanx still gets it in!

and Shout out DianaBoss for inspiring this post!!! girl without you I would still be on no blog activity!

Wrote about my ex getting married in this post -----> This Is Goodbye<----- I haven't seen or have spoken to him since that warm July night and when he got married in October I just blocked the whole thing out of my mind...Out of mind out of sight is what i was going with but the other day while surfing through FB and taking a break from stalking Khaki I decided to find his brother. I know i know probably wasn't a great move but a part of me was curious about his wedding, I had all those questions bothering me ever since he annouced the wedding to me. I needed to see it for myself, i need to see if he was really happy, what she looked like, was the marriage really real, I just needed to witness it all. When I typed his brothers name into the search box I prayed a little bit that he wouldn't pop up or he would be private but the other side of me wanted him to pop up wanted to scroll through his pictures. And of course like almost every person in the world there it was his brother's fb page, I pause when his named popped up and it took my 15 minutes before i worked up enough nerve to actually click his pictures, braced myself for all that was about to come my way.

I knew I was setting myself up for heart break but i clicked the album that said "Guess who has a wife?" I took a deep breath and begin my scroll through picture after picture smiling face after smiling face. I had to take a couple of deep breaths just to stop myself from choking up a little bit. It was crazy to see all the people i had grown to love over the years...his father, brothers, baby sister, his friends,eve his step mother i use to be apart of that world and thought i would always be , kind of always saw myself marrying him being Mrs. Such and Such. Seeing those pictures made it so much more real then the invitation was or hearing him say it not it was craved in stone. I secretly envied her not being she was cuter than me, which might i add she is not, or because she was the opposite of me but because she got him, all of him! She got what i thought would always be mine..the person i thought the rest of my life would be spent with. It was a hard thing to see all the love and happiness they shared I wanted it to be me..he loved like that looked at like that but I guess that is not how the cookie crumbles. As i continued to look at the million wedding picture i couldn't help but think about how him and I would talk about our wedding...it made me smile a little bit remember how things were before we grew up a little bit and the cheating and lying started and I got to experience what heart ache really was. I continued to look on caught a couple of picture of people i haven't seen in so long even found my cousin in a picture or two who went to represent us both lol...I even laughed a pic labeled "where id Dink when you need her?" Dink is what his baby brother started to call me and I love that little boy who in the picture was crying his heart out....i felt a little loved that at least they missed me. The pictures ended and I still don't know how i feel about it yet. I would be lying if i told you i was perfectly okay with it because i'm still a little hurt and sad. I called one of my friends to pour my heart to her about what i seeked out, she asked me was I happy for him? okay with seeing him happy with someone else? ...Happy for him maybe a lil bit but ok with his happiness being with someone else not really, i can't change it so it is what it is. Maybe it was suppose to work out like this maybe this was the plan along for me to love him and lose him...maybe it opened the door for Lil Richmond could it be that him and I were never meant to be just find each other...be friends, get together, break up and never go back to each other *sigh* being that we will never know the answer to that i'll just take it for what is. Him and i was a great run while it lasted. I do miss him a little bit and seeing the pictures just made that so much more but I think us not being the friends we use to be is for the best!

The Number

I have been friend with some of my friends for year some 10 plus years and i share alot with them but even they don't know the number!..you know that number...the number of sexual partners you have over the course of your life. Yep that number, the one that sometimes I lie and don't act like some of yall haven't neither. I think the only person who really knows the exact number is my OB/GYN but hell i think i have even lied to her about it.

Now Lil Richmond and I talk about an array of things I don't we have many secrets because we share almost everything but one thing i have never asked him about was his number...To be honest I have no interest in it nor have to judge him off of it..lol..I lie i wouldn't judge him but i think its just better that. So I was super surprised this morning when out of nowhere he asked my number................................................I almost crashed the car when i heard what he said and to make sure i heard him right i had him repeat himself and yep thats what he said what's your number? I tried to laugh it off but he didn't find anything amusing I didn't know if i should tell him the truth or go with my safe number which is 7...lol..don't judge me but 7 just feel like not too high not to low just perfect. Then again i was thinking maybe i would just drop the real number on him and see what he says but if my number was higher than his i'm sure he would feel some type of way about it. and of course because im the master of avoiding i found a way to pass up the sunshine reveal moment by asking him what his number was. When the words left my mouth i said an silent prayer that he didn't say something out the pocket like 3,001 lawd i hoped it was just a three digit number under 500.....smh...I know his track record and i knew it was going o be high ...he laughed and said 180 so breath easy. 180?!? really?!? woooowww was all could get out. of course i could have judged him off of it but i didn't that is his personal battle not mine and after hearing his high ass number he made mine look like chump change but just like the avoider i am i never revealed it to him by the time he was done I was at work the conversation had to be cut off...Sorry?!? i think i was saved by the bell because i have intentions of sharing that information with him not because i'm ashamed of the number or worried about him asking many questions about my sexual escapades i think disclosing my number something i shall never do..I haven't done it in the past nor do i plan on it in the future.

Questions for yall is...The Number do you share? or not? and why?

Overpopulated....

I told her that it was a bad idea when she first mentioned it to me! All she could say to me was "i mean he wants it so i think i'm just gonna go ahead with this damn threesome". I just knew it was gonna end all bad it was too many things in the situation that made you say hmmm but being the person she is Katt decided to do it anyway. " its a great valentine's day gift and the chick is already picked out" ..*pause* that should have been the first red flag that the chick was already lined up because he Rick had already picked her. Now I warned her ass that the whole situation could NOT be trusted. Why did he pick the chick? So that means he knows this chick..* straight face* something about that just ain't right. I mean its cool that he wants a certain type of chick to be apart of this but not the exact chick and book her the damn thing but this is her thing sooooooooooooo... of course Katt told me I was over thinking the situation and looking to deep, she asked me if i would take part in a threesome if that is what lil Richmond wanted?!?...hmmmm yeah no thats not my style or how i get down and i don't like for my sexual activity to be overpopulated with people and that is exactly what a threesome is a crowd of people and I don't like to share so Lil Richmond would never part him lips and ask me for one if he wants this relationship to continue on... but to each's own and I have my opinion and kept it moving...

Valentine's day was do or die for Katt and our last phone call before she did the damn thing was short and simple I wished her luck and she was off....Katt calls the next day and as soon as I sai hello i knew something was wrong...long story short, she did it and regretted it. She told me through her tears that she felt as if him and the chick he brought in had done that before...they were too comfortable and he paid her so much attention. I didn't really comment too much on the situation i just calmed her down and told its all over now so you don't have to worry about it anymore....well at least that is what we thought...lets fast forward to a couple hours later...Katt's boyfriend June calls tell her he left his phone in her car and needs it for work....ok she gets out the bed and hops in the car to return the phone to him but as she is driving a text message pops across the phone..*damn that iphone* it was threesome chick and she writes" hey June i really enjoyed last night, lots of fun but next time lets do it without her"...of course when katt makes it to June she confronts him about it, he says he hasn't had any sexual contact with her beside the threesome *side eye* ...yeah she accepts that answer for the moment...she calls out of work and instead of going home goes to her mom's house she tells me stayed there for about an hour before she got a call from June's daughter's school saying she was sick and they couldn't find June or her baby mama so Katt hit the road and picked her up. When she back home with his daughter she noticed June's car in her driveway but didn't think twice about it because he works 10 mins away from her house. She walks in hears noises coming from her basement but thought it was the damn dog and maybe he got into something but when she reaches the the top steps she sees the dog sitting in the kitchen..*pause* she runs back down the steps, opens the basement door and surprise surprise what does she see..........................................................................................................................................................................................................

JUNE AND THE THREESOME CHICK fuckin' on her couch! yep the chick who he claims he had no sexual contact with he had in her house in her basement sexing up hard....

So i have never ever thought about having a threesome but after this story it is will never happen ever in my life because I would have got a case or two for murder because the list of disrespect that went on is like a mile long... for everyone to still be alive and breathing

You Watch Porn?!?..Oh My!

I learned quite some time ago that you can't share your porn watching habits with many males at all because in their little minds they try to judge you! I never thought that I would be sitting in a room full of men and I would be the one they are judging...lol..I'm sure they had all kinds of thoughts running through their heads when I confessed my porn watching habits but not many dared to open their mouths. A long time ago i would have thought it would have been the females in my life who would have passed judgement upon me but oooo no it alot of us who share this secret. If it wasn't for me bring up the matter at hand I don't think my friends would have ever shared how much they watch porn. I'm often surprise at the reaction I get my men when i name a porn star or say "Oh I've seen that one" I watched one of my closest male friends side eyed me and said you are not suppose to watch porn...you a girl! ya'll don't do that...*stupid face* what?!? we don't do that?! Women are the top buyers of porn, we are a little bit more open then men apparently.

I thought at first my porn watching was abnormal and that i shouldn't be but hell i got over that and continued to tune into a porno a time or two. Hell I've learned a thing or two from pornos and sometimes i watch just for the amusement purposes, where else can yo catch so much bad acting in one area besides a Tyler Perry show...yep Porn. I have heard it all from men when it comes to me watching porn, some assume that i'm just freakin any and every body, other think i'm holding some type of nasty fetish and they want to see what it is, I've been called a nympho, nasty...the list goes on and on but if they would take a step back and think about it benefits them. Now i'm saying all the males in my life have passed judgement upon me for watching porn cause some of them say shiiii, can you get my girl into or you think my chick is watching it..maybe ...maybe not but for those men who know i watch porn in my life and appreciate we have the best conversations about sex and pron ..hey sometimes you need a females understanding and insight.

Hey if porn is good for them its good for us...

March?!? Here Already!

I woke up this morning and realized that its March and February was finally over! I probably should have been jumping for joy that we are getting closer to spring and my birthday but February was an expensive but good month for me. I dropped big $$$ on alot of shit, my god son, Lil Richmond, my father, Valentines day it all was in my pockets last month but all in all I enjoy February *waves good bye* I kept telling myself last month oh i'm going to blog today or no no i'll do it tomorrow, or before February is over I'm going to write about that...now look it's March and I haven't done not a single blog that i had roaming around in my head. Some will make it to the spot sooner or later and the others not so much one because their are some who will rename non blog worthy i wish i could share but yeah since i know a couple of my friends read this i will spare them and myself the drama *shrugs* some things are just left unsaid...so I won't speak on it. I'm going to try my best to do some blogging this week because class starts back up next week! lawd help me!!!!!!!!!!