No One Ever Said It Would Be Easy...

And they were right about that!! When I got myself into this arrangement I didn’t know it was going to be one of the hardest tasks I ever tried to achieve. I jumped right in head first without having any knowledge of how to make this thing work….and work is exactly what it is. 2 hours away doesn’t seem that far away but ohhhhh it is, there is no late nights sleeping at his house nor let me stop by to see what you doing going on around here. Everything is basically planned out to the last detail. Weekends have to be set aside, plans have to be made and schedules have to be checked before spending time together , it is almost like having a full time job. We are living in two different cities, in two different states and both have things to accomplish in our cities..plus he has children Two children that has to have some time too. I thought walking into this that I had this all under control and maybe after 6 months of it, I realized that it was not easy at all. Everyone told me that it would not be easy at all especially when there are children involved. Although I would love to have all his undivided attention I do know that kids need it too so I often play the background to the whole quality time thing.

The long distance thing was already hard but Lil Richmond being sick only adds to the struggle, I didn’t have to think twice about being there for him but it is all on me now. The driving two hours is all me now…..rearranging my plans is all on me now. I would never ask him to travel away from not knowing how he may feel by the time he gets to DC. Let’s just say that just made it even harder. I decided that I wouldn’t bring up this whole much harder that it should have to be subject until after his January Doctor’s appointment that’s the big one to let him know what he is suffering from. I love him to death but long distance thing is showing to far more difficult than I think it should be. There is no structure in this arrangement no set times a month we gonna do this….what days …it is all just done on a whim and if I let him lead it would be done on a blue moon. I was asked a couple of weeks ago is it even worth the hassles and for the first time I questioned myself for a minute….and I know its worth it…..at least for now.