It Felt Right!

This weekend left me so very tired..I'm sitting here at my desk thinking damn i didn't think this one would be over...which i never do. From the moment that my brother touched down in the DMV it was a none stop race around so everyone could see him and so he could get some business taken care of before he hopped back a flight and headed back west. Its rare that any of us get to see him he only comes back a couple times a year so when he is here we all especially my sister and I try to spend as much time as possible with him. It was him being here that i realized that i missed my family oh so much. I get caught up in the rat race of life i never stop to spend time with cousins and Aunts who as a child i spent most of my free time with. This weekend it felt just right to be in there presence and have them around. We laughed, talked, drank, watched my Aunt who was high as kite try to sing Whitney Houston and ate which had to be the most important part of the evening. It was great to just be "me" for a change no make up, no contacts, no body shaper, no fake smiles just Dana. On Sunday we repeated this family time once again first church which my brother surprised us by doing a guess you could say a mini sermon about family which left me and every other female in our family misty eyed he always finds a way to get us with a deep moment or two when he's here then off to my Aunts to eat and be together. I don't know what made this years Easter so special for me it just was. I looked around the room at all the faces who shared the same blood as me and thought i have to make more time for this. The sound of the kids playing, old folks laughing and the phone ringing off the hook just my heart smile its moments like that make you cherish what you have even more than before.

Although all this love and family time was going on I couldn't help but to think about the one's who weren't with us today mostly my cousin Bo who was usually the highlight of any family event with jokes and games...he got locked up 3 years ago and we all miss him dearly...ok well i miss him more than words can explain. He called and we all got to talk to him but its nothing like having him here with us. As i was enjoying the basketball game we played in the driveway I couldn't help but to think about my Bff Tee and how i was missing out on her birthday because i was wrapped up with my family this weekend. I think this has to be the first birthday i wasn't hands on with her in all of our friendship. It wasn't like i didn't want to share in all that was going on it was just my brother was here and seeing him is something we don't get to do often. I tired to do everything i could to make me not being there a Little better but there is no easy way to ease the sting of that i guess. My cousin DJ and i had an whole discussion about me and her and missing her birthday he basically said to me "yall been friends for years through thick and thin and if she is your friend really your friend she would understand why you didn't attend this weekend with a open mind and heart...and if she doesn't then well that's just something that needs to be address head on".....*pause* Did DJ just drop a little knowledge on me...lol...he did and its rare that him and i even talk about real life issues.If we ain't talking about Basketball, Shoes, and .... we shall use those dots so i don't incriminate him then him and i aren't really talking, he must have felt the love in the air.

As long as the weekend was i didn't truthfully didn't want it to end because when it did it meant my brother A.C. was back on the plane for Cali and the family gathering was over...*sobs*

If this weekend taught me anything it was i need to spend more time with them because I'm missing out on so much. We all growing up in one way or another and I don't want to miss out on it.