Throwback Thursday

*covers eyes* Middle School! lawd have mercy look how young all of us look in the picture!

My memory of this day is blurred but i believe it was the day after 8th graduation and our picnic..This was back in the day when we thought it was cute to pose like that! lol...i often wonder whtaever happened to one of the boys in this pic because i know where everyone else is

I'm Joining Match.Com!

"If this thing doesn't work, I'm joining match.com!" I keep trying to tellmy friends this and each and everytime they laugh me out as if its a joke....*straight face* I said a million times and I will say it again....If Lil Richmond and I don't work I'm joinign match.com....I'm getting too old for this cat and mouse game. Things with Lil Richmond and I haven't been too great at all it was like one day I woke up and shit just changed...hell he just changed on me. I still do the same things I was doing 6 months ago concerning him but for some reason something between the two of us just isn't right. Before I decided to make any drastic moves I pulled together my dream team and discussed the issues that lie between us and of course all of them including my life manager suggest me to talk about these issues with him before I made any drastic moves and later regretted it.........For once in my life I took their advice and did what I was advised and....may be for a week things changed but then it was back to the old him....the him i don't think i like too much. I can't put my finger on it but something just isn't right with him i don't know if its the new found pressure at work or the fact that I think he is entertaining his daughter's mother in his spare time...but my spidey sense is going off left and right i just can't pen out point why or how. I do almost everything in my power to keep our relationship afloat but i can't carry all the weight on just my shoulders, sometimes I feel as if i do all the work and he does nothing...nothing at all. I don't think I ask him for too much, i try to be the one woman in his life that he oesn't have to take of like all the others...maybe a phone call here and there a visit once or twice a month but its like pulling teeth with him lately, sometimes i feel as if I'm chasing him and chile, the only thing that Sunshine chases is alcohol not men! not ever.

I had to ask myself a few days ago was this even worth is? do i even want to do this anymore? and to be honest i have no idea....one part of me wants to cut him off complete and move on with whatever i want to do but the other half of me the part who loves him to deaths wants this to work itself out. I'm definitely at an fork in the road with him and I, I'm not getting any younger and sticking around for something that may never be is not really on my to do list at all. It breaks my heart to even think about cutting all ties with him and starting over with him and starting over with someone else...I hate change and i hate starting over...but things aren't looking up for us at all. I have watched week after week pass this month and week after week there has been no change in anything we have going on right now.....I've a year and some change into this relationship and if this ends I'm taking a new route and off to match.com it is to find my prince charming via the internet......

Throwback Thursday

2008 was the year and this was probably the early summer time can't remember what month

but I do know it was a house party we went to in Baltimore and we got pissy drunk that night!

The alcohol kept flowing we kept drinking it!

This was the weight I was most happy with over the past years...

Lawd know i'm trying to get that back!

Yeah and this a pre drunk photo because the drunk ones i just couldn't share with yall!

Throwback Thursday

I can't remember what year this was but its is homecoming

and being that i'm school football team was the worst i'm sure we lost! lol

This guy in the pic was my high school crush for all 4 years...Ha! he never knew that I think he just thought we was real good friends!...lol...I had to keep it a secret because Dog would have cut him off as friend if he ever found out. I still see him from time to time because we share alot of the same friends....

lol..there is story that should go with this picture but I shall keep it between me , him and God!! I'm lying ill probably share it one day! lls

Date Raped....by a GIRL!

I kept telling her that the chick at work who keep pushing for them to go out was trying to get in her panties but she kept telling me awwww its because she is not from here and facially challenged! smh...*side note...i hate her* Although i was only joking about it at the time i was kinda serious too! So when she called me breathing all heavy in the phone all i could do was laugh when she said *inserts government name* I almost got raped...by a girl!smh...lmaoooooooooooooo....let me give yall the story...

A new chick arrived at the office and Summer being nice Summer that she is took her under her wing because she was from Las Vegas and I had no one here in DC. For weeks now the new girl had been asking summer to go out with to drink and have some fun. She kept telling Summer they needed to take on the city so she could show her how Las Vega gets down *side eye* Now I told Summer over and over again that it just didn't sit well with me but Summer being always finding the good in people just shook it off and continue to make plans with new girl. So after A long day at work Summer finally takes the offer of happy hour up with the new girl and they head off into the night. The bar of choice was this gay spot..*pause* now that should have alerted her a little bit but in Summer's defense we do hit up gay bars from time to time to enjoy the company of men who love what i love, the atmosphere and drinks...so I'm sure she didn't feel out of place. The alcohol gets to following and Summer who isn't a big drinker gets a lil tipsey she said she thinks that New girl might have touched her boob but she couldn't remember. The night goes on New Girl starts buying out the bar and paying for all drinks....after the 100th time summer says it they finally grab a cab and head back to the train station so they both can go home. While in the New girls gets to telling Summer how pretty she looks with her glasses on and how nice her outfit was and before Summer knew it New girl was all on her side of the car...oh thank is all Summer can manage to say. The ride continues on New Chick starts to asking question about Summer's personal life...boyfriend? girlfriend? kids? and just like that new chick was tugging at Summers pants trying to lick her kitty............noooooooooooooooooooooo was all i could say when the story got to this part no summer no......Summer who know in panic mode as she tells the story...says heffa i could believe this mud duck was trynna take my cookie...so i i choked her ass just to get her off me and that big bitch was strong! and st the next stop i jumped out the car so fast and slammed the shit out of the door. i paused when she finally finished the story I didn't know if i should laugh or ask her if she wanted to jump the hoe.....after about 2 minutes of silence Summer lets out a huge laugh and says....man almost got date raped by a chick that is it i'm done!!!!! lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo we both couldn't stop laughing only Summer who is laways trying to be nice and friendly to everyone would find herself almost being date raped. I told her before this whole that you are going on a date with a girl and don't even know it...her reply we go on dates all the time!!!! smh...i answered with but your not my type anyway so we not dating!...

Lesson learned!

Throwback Thursday

I decided to take a stroll down memory lane last night

and ran accross this pic...awwww....its my prom pic from 2001!

I loved that dress and I had to cry and scream to get because my mother wasn't feeling the price tag it came with...shout out my cousin for paying for it! I still have it tucked away in my parents basement. I remember the day it was hot as hell that day and i was trying my best not to sweat my hair out and get those nasty wet sweat spots on my dress.

The boys in the photo was my former neighbor and his friends who thought

that they need to protect me and see me off to prom! lol...Ispent half the day before I left rolling my eyes at them!

awwwww those were the days!

Birthday Blues..

It's April and usually around this time I start to get excited my birthday that will be approaching in May. I start to plan the weekend that will be all about and love every minute of it but this year not so much. I usually always look forward my birthday its truly the only day that really all about me but for some reason i just can't bring myself to love it this year. My friends have been asking me one by one what i want to do and one by one I suggest something but call them later to say naaahhh maybe not. I was asked today by someone is it because i'm getting close to 30 that makes me not excited but its not that..i could really careless about the age thing..the last couple of months haven't been great for me. I walk around like everything is fine and i'm good but in reality it wears down on my shoulders each and everyday. i'm good at the happy face and the stress free approach but inside i'm kind of on a emotional roller coaster. Along with all of those personal things i'm dealing with, i'm thinking oh so hard about ending things with Lil Richmond! Surprised?!? I may let others around me think everything is everything between the two of us but in reality I'm carrying this whole relationship on my back and i'm tired of pulling it all together and making it work all on my own. I even consulted my life manager on the matter because i'm so torn about it so far and like he usually does Studiogenius brings in the ration and give me some good advice to sleep on. Needless to say that is another reason i'm extra excited about my birthday this year. I thought about just planning anything to do and put lon my best smile and making it work but i have no desire to do so......I knew I wasn't that into my birthday when I didn't even take the day off from work just to do nothing all day long...lol..yep that was my signal. I've tried numerous times to get myslef more excited about my birthday but my heart and my minds just not into it this go around. I guess I'll make it just another day none of all the bells and whistle none of all the extra stuff just another day.