I'm Joining Match.Com!

"If this thing doesn't work, I'm joining match.com!" I keep trying to tellmy friends this and each and everytime they laugh me out as if its a joke....*straight face* I said a million times and I will say it again....If Lil Richmond and I don't work I'm joinign match.com....I'm getting too old for this cat and mouse game. Things with Lil Richmond and I haven't been too great at all it was like one day I woke up and shit just changed...hell he just changed on me. I still do the same things I was doing 6 months ago concerning him but for some reason something between the two of us just isn't right. Before I decided to make any drastic moves I pulled together my dream team and discussed the issues that lie between us and of course all of them including my life manager suggest me to talk about these issues with him before I made any drastic moves and later regretted it.........For once in my life I took their advice and did what I was advised and....may be for a week things changed but then it was back to the old him....the him i don't think i like too much. I can't put my finger on it but something just isn't right with him i don't know if its the new found pressure at work or the fact that I think he is entertaining his daughter's mother in his spare time...but my spidey sense is going off left and right i just can't pen out point why or how. I do almost everything in my power to keep our relationship afloat but i can't carry all the weight on just my shoulders, sometimes I feel as if i do all the work and he does nothing...nothing at all. I don't think I ask him for too much, i try to be the one woman in his life that he oesn't have to take of like all the others...maybe a phone call here and there a visit once or twice a month but its like pulling teeth with him lately, sometimes i feel as if I'm chasing him and chile, the only thing that Sunshine chases is alcohol not men! not ever.

I had to ask myself a few days ago was this even worth is? do i even want to do this anymore? and to be honest i have no idea....one part of me wants to cut him off complete and move on with whatever i want to do but the other half of me the part who loves him to deaths wants this to work itself out. I'm definitely at an fork in the road with him and I, I'm not getting any younger and sticking around for something that may never be is not really on my to do list at all. It breaks my heart to even think about cutting all ties with him and starting over with him and starting over with someone else...I hate change and i hate starting over...but things aren't looking up for us at all. I have watched week after week pass this month and week after week there has been no change in anything we have going on right now.....I've a year and some change into this relationship and if this ends I'm taking a new route and off to match.com it is to find my prince charming via the internet......