Yaaaayyyy..2010

I hope that 2010 will be a better than 2009 for all of us!

If you are going out tonight be safe out there and If aren't enjoy yourself in!!!

and I hope to be just like him tonight......

So take one of these for me... and I'll holla at ya'll next year baaabbbbeeee*toya voice*

I had to Share it.......

I wasn't going to blog today..I was taking a day off from writing down all my inner thoughts but when I read this blog called....Light Skin vs. Dark Skin I had to drop in and suggest it to everyone who follows me.

As I was reading this blog I could understand and agree with all that he was saying and just the other day I was told by one of male cousins that I was tripping about this same topic.

so take a minute out slide through his spot and check it out..

Light Skin vs. Dark Skin......www.thegrayareas.com......

Afternoon Delight.....

Channing Tatum

SLLLLLUURRRPPPPP... He is definitely going on my future ex husband list!

Letters To My Exes, PFH, and Future Husband....

I saw this on Mzaunatural Beauty and Tha unpretentious Narcissist blogs and it intrigued me so I decided to do this too!!

Dear Exes,

*sigh* What can I say ,l but FUCK MOST OF YA'LL. I know I'm not perfect but I can say 100% that i gave each and everyone of you my all. I sat back and watched some of you cheat, disrespect and for one of you knock me down on more than one occasion and I still stood by most of ya'll waiting for the best,, hoping that you would see your faults and turn out to be a better man.Some of ya'll rode on my back while I made all the moves, some mistook my kindness for weakness and other just wanted to see if they could break me....but i never let them see me sweat So NO I'm not sorry for the grimy shit i did and said to any of worthless ass dudes. Yes he wasn't just my friend and yes i was lying about being at the club and yes I'm not at my Friends house but instead laid up with some dude...pay back a bitch ain't it! Well now you know I hope it feels good!

To those who don't fall into all that drama..I'm sorry for not giving you what you needed and making you pay for all of those who did me wrong. I know its someone out there who will treat you far better than I and I hope you have found them. I'm sorry for cheating, lying and forgetting about you and just not being what I should have been. I had been hurt to many time and needed for someone to pay...Sorry it was you.

Back to all the rest of you asshole and jerks...I was once angry at what happened between us but now I see that ya'll made me stronger and opened my eyes to alot...if i can't say thank you for anything else i can say thank you for at least that much but I still hate you and if you were on fire I wouldn't piss on you to put you out...sorry? After I think about it nah I ain't sorry at all...on to the next *swizz beats voice*

Dear PFH(Prime F***in Hour) dude,

Awwww....I think Its so cute how you thought we was in some type of relationship! its cute that you made up this whole scenario up in your mind. You probably had the best imagination as a child, But here right now in real life that is far from the truth. Don't call me let me call you!! and if you take time to notice its only between the hours of 12am and 6am with peak time at 3am and the convo is nice and short...Where u at?..what u doing?...I'm on my way. The last time I checked that was not any form of dating for a relationship. To be honest, I'm sure you are a cool and nice dude but I don't care to know...just give me what i came for and keep it the talking and bonding to a minimal. I don't care about your new job, car or how your kids are doing..if i did you would be far more than my PFH dude I would take time out to get to know you far better than the way I know you now. No disrespect but i probably think you are kinda boring that how you got stuck at where u are at now. Let me lead you just follow...

For you who tries and to make me your booty call....hmmm not so much..It was a good run while it lasted but now its over sweetie. So stop calling all times of the night talking non sense, leaving those messages that I just play back for my friends and no i won't come over so we can talk! I ain't fucking with you for a reason maybe if you take a minute and look back on it you will see why. and as Wale would say " You never play with young boys 'cause they never private and they forever outed.....Now you figure it out.

Dear Future Husband,

"Men always want to be a women's first love. Women have more subtle instinct: what they they like to be is a man last romance." -Oscar Wilde.

I'm sorry now for not being an easy person to crack and being difficult to deal with from time to time, All I ask from you is to show me something I ain't never seen before, show me the real you and not what you want me to believe. Impress me please...And that doesn't mean with all the people you know, how much money you make and all of those superficial things...Impress me by matching my mental status rather than matching my lifestyle. I'm to old now to be worried about those things..i want to be worried about in which way my future children will look up to u. Promise to love me for me and never for what you want me to be. Hold my hand when I need it, rub my back when I'm sad understand my tears no matter if they are happy or sad just please try to understand them. See me for the women I am please never try to change me, I want you to love me no matter if I have gained or lost 20 pounds just love me as I am. See me for the tomboy that I can be and the girly girl who jumps out from time to time. Understand that I love the Lakers and Cowboys and probably won't change after we get married. Understand the asshole i can be from time to time and the loving person who makes her way to the front on a day to day period. In all I just you to love me for me and in turn I will love you for you.

....

Last night wasn't a good night for me....So much going on so much stress coming from it...I guess when it rain...it pours because last night it poured hard....

While I was wallowing in my sorrow alot of things started to cross my mind from this topic to that topic...my thoughts were all over the place. I guess it was my brains way of clearing it out before the new year so I can go in with much less to think about in 2010....So here are my random thoughts of the night...

Where in the hell is Tiger Woods at? I mean its not the end of the world because you got caught with all those hoes! From the school teacher to Porn Star..you did it we know you did it, own up to it...we shall not forget! He needs to come out and just face the music and as Bird was say "He runnin' round bitchin' up...if you ran through em...you ran through em..u ain't the first or the last!" So Tiger holla at us!..lol

I know I have been talking about 2010 awhole lot the past couple of weeks and days but now my nervousness about it is setting in. I hate not being able to expect something....the worst or best I have no idea what it is going to bring and it makes my tummy hurt a little..*covers eyes*

Why do other expect me to like something you didn't even fuck wit a couple of weeks and some causes a month ago. You can't fill me up with all the negative and now that you think you like it, I'm suppose to too!! You can't lead me to believe that something is better be cause you changed your mind because I haven't....and won't!

Epitome told me I act and think to much like a boy!! lol...maybe she's right and i know this already but its a hard thing to shake my life consisted of being the only girl with the boys so I picked up all the habits good or bad its in me...but as Williamh said while I'm thinking like a boy there are some dudes who are thinking like girls...so that made me think maybe in 2010 I'll lighten up on my boy habits and focus more on my female habits. Which is kinda scary because no one wants to get hurt and me thinking more male like defends me from that...So I'm just going to take a leap and see what happens.

Epitome also told told me I surround myself with asshole and jerks in the men I entertain and I need to close that chapter and open a new one....and i thought about it..and.....we shall see what comes about in 2010 prolly not much of nothing and as I thought about it...when others change it up...I'll change it up....

I hate thirsty ass dudes and girls!!! That is probably one of my pet peeves...don't be so hungry and worrisome...that shit gets old rapidly...smh...no ones wants that shit and why would you even wanna be that person. Its an huge turn off!!! The more you push yourself on someone the more they wanna run away..I tired to tell my cousin that but he wasn't hearing me at all! No one likes that shit at all. As the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater...I believe once thirsty you will always be looking for something to drink *Kanye shrug*

Why is every young girls aspiration to be a Barbie or a 5 star chick!! What in da hell?!? Where did we go wrong in life...What happened to being a successful and respected women?!...What happened to having aspirations to be a doctor, lawyer... and maybe even president?!? Come on ladies we got to do better! but i guess i can't really blame young females when all the women you look up to are half dressed and screaming about how they barbie this...who is plastic and fake and how they five star chicks I see how they could get confused.

Read something last night about Chris Henry and it made me so angry!! Why when young African Americans pass away the world talks about all the wrong turns he made in life and never about who was all together. Who care if he almost got cut from the Bengals or how many DUIs he got. The point of the matter is a young man lost his life far before he got to live it and he left behind 3 young child who will grow up without him! and on a side note Brittany Murphy died and I can't remember hearing anything negative about her...things that make u say hmmmmmm....

I think I want another tattoo!!! matter of fact i know I want another one....what, i don't know but it will be coming so stay tuned....

People always want others t change themselves without them joining in to. You can't expect others to follow if you ain't leading to begin with...Shout out Kiah for that one...

and Shout outs to i am tha unpretentious narcissit for dropping some words of encouragement while i was sinking into my sadness....let me drop what he said on ya'll one time..

"I'm sorry, hopefully it'll turn around fast (in a few days) or just go ahead and end. and you can start fresh w/ a new year".....I don't know why but just hearing I'm sorry from someone who doesn't know me made it a lil bit more encouraging....a little bit more real

and to Bird for dropping some encouragement on me too...

"thunderstorms end and after that what do u see?????SUNSHINE!!!!...remember that!"

and my last shout out to my Reesey Pooh for still having me LMAO @ her saying us not talking n a couple of days is Like when Rocafella broke up all over again!!...I hate her!!! Lawd knows I hate her!

okay...Now I'm Out!!!!!

Shout Out Shade'......

So I got a new jazzy header and I can thank Shade' for it!!!!....YYYYaaaaayyyyyy...I tried to do it myself and needless to say it didn't turn out good at all :-( But Shade' offered her help and now its blinking and shit!!!!! can u tell i'm excited about it!!!

Make sure you run past her spot and check her out.......She keeps me updated on some fly shit...don't sleep on her!

Merry X-mas

I know I'm a little early with this but since I know I'm not going to back on here before Christmas I thought i would leave ya'lll with this!

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful X-mas. I hope u get everything you asked for and more!!!!

Afternoon Delight.....

Michael Ealy

*sigh* I love him!!!

And You Say He's Just A Friend..

Can men and women truly only be just Friends? that question was posed to me this morning while talking to one of my males cousins. We got into this heated debate about having "just friends" of the opposite sex. I personally say YES!! of course they can. One of my closest friends is that of the opposite sex, we have good times together, we talk about everything and his opinion is valued alot but never not once in my life have I ever felt like it would be anything more. Granted...T-Money is cute and all but I never feel anything sexual for him at all!!! He's never came at me that way and if he did i prolly would laugh my as off at him! My feeling for him only run as an friendship and nothing more..I treat him more like my brother than anything. Now the next question is Does T-money see it the same way I do? and the answer is yes! For the 12 years we have been friends we have always been questioned about our action and he made it a point to let everyone know its nothing more than friendship! So I do have some males friends I would love to give the business to but if you asking me if i can keep platonic relationships with a man then i have and I can... Some of my best and closest friendships have been that of males who have never had any type of feelings for outside of friendship..and of course no sexual contact at all.

"Dogs and Cats can not be just friends"..those are the words of my cousin Sam who believes that I'm lying about having males friends who are just my friends. Sam says that given the opportunity T-money or any of my male friends would be all game for sex. Now Sam has never in his life just had a female friend who has never had any sex with or felt something much deeper for. Which I can totally believe because Sam is one of those types who believe Females can never be just friends with him because sexual tension would drive them into something else. Sam told me that my friendships with males are just friendships in my eye but they are looking at it a totally different way. He confessed to me that in certain situations he lead the female to believe they were just friends so he could just find an easier way to go in for the kill...smh...He sees it has sooner or later in your just friends relationship someone is going to have an change of heart and catch feelings which now compromises the whole situation..Which can be the case sometimes but not in all opposite sex friendships. and he also pointed out that if yo having sex with one of your friends then that person is not your friend anymore but now something else, the feeling change. hmmmmmm.. I feel were he may be coming from but....I see it totally different!

So Now the question remaining is Do you believe Men and Women can be just friends?

What About My Tan

" With all this shade being thrown at me....how in da hell do these people expect me to get a tan!" taken from the book of Ne'Kiah D....my cousin...I love her and hate her wrapped all up into one for this classic quote.

One thing I can saying it is she was so right about that!! We got discussing how we have so many Shady people in our live and we don't know what to do with them.....smh.. as much as we hate to admit it some of the shade comes from our own family and friends and those are the worst one. You ever have a friend who is only your friend on certain days of the week? or a family member you only hear from at family functions or they need something? I always love to hear the shady people in my life talk about all the shit they got planned for us for all they shit we gonna do knowing god and damn well your shady ass is never gonna call or continue with the plans....smh... One thing i was always taught was to keep the shady people close because those the ones who will stab you in the back first! and I have had my share of shady males and female stab my back good.... real good. I know I should have left these shady people alone along time ago but some hide thier shade very well..so it takes longer to sort them out...others had special places in my life and heart so setting them free took alot out me to do...but it is what it is and I'm getting to old to keep playing this game so I think its about time to write them all off. Trust me i got awhole list of people whose shade has been blinding my tan for far to long and others just recently decided they wanted the tan more than I. It kind of melts my heart a little to think that some of theses folks will never see the likes of me or anything involving me...I'm a very tolerant person when comes to friendships and all those relationships so losing a couple brings a little sad face to me. Some of those people have been through alot of shit with me....and as I think about it some of them may have been the cause of some the shit i went through....things that make you say hmmmmmm!

So in 2010..all the shady people in my life shall not be taking the leap with me into 2010!!! I'll holla!

I'm cleaning house slowly!!!! got to start 2010 off right!

Let It Snow...No More!

From North Carolina to Maine was under a winter storm waring....So here in The DMV we got hit with 2 feet of snow...no bueno....It started late Friday night and you know i was in those streets doing stuff i had no business doing and i had to drive myself home when the roads were looking no good at all!! thank god for getting me home safely...but needless to say I spent my whole weekend snowed in at my parents....not a good look but did get set free on sunday and the road were still bad :-(

take a look......

My Daddy Playing to much!

and last, Shout Out to my place of business for being open on this Monday morning and Me for almost dying on my way here...Fuck ya'll cuz i ain't coming in tomorrow!

Tears Of Joy....

Those are what my cousin cried into the phone with me as we got to discussing how things were in motion for gay marriage to be legalized in Washington DC. It was something that was just very powerful and moving for the both of us. He cried in the phone saying "Its like they are finally recognizing us as human beings just like the rest of the world." Well if you haven't figured it out yet my cousin is gay...a gay African American man to exact. I have always supported my cousin who i call Peaches through all that he has decided to do. I was the first person he confided in when he wanted someone to know he was gay..which I already knew, i was just waiting for him to feel comfortable and tell. I know how hard it was for him to come out especially being a man and African American our community is so hard on our gay men, that I can understand why most of them never come out. I never not once loved him any differently because he liked boys matter of fact I'm much more protective of him since he came out about 10 years ago. When Peaches told came out to our family i was on the edge of my seat..We have the type of family that is either with u or against u and alot of them decided against the way he choice to live his life. I watched has my cousin's heart broke and his defeat set in. It broke me just as bad as him, so because of that I made sure he would always have me no matter what going on in our lives. From The gay Pride parade to hitting up the gay clubs I have stood by him and been his support or as he would call it his right hand man!!! A couple of years ago he feel in love and wanted to get married but as we all know not many places were allowing that for him...It brought my heart to to tears to see him so distraught over Why the world just couldn't accept him and his love his for his boyfriend. He made it part of his life mission to make gay marriage possible along with gay rights because they are people just like the rest of us. So a couple of days ago when i watched the news and heard that mayor Fenty had signed the bill and now they were waiting on congress a cried not only for my cousin but for every gay American! I didn't talk to Peaches that night because he was on a business trip but last night when he called me we didn't say one word to each other we just cried into the phone...tears of joy is what we cried. I knew this marked a huge milestone in the gay community and I knew how much it meant to him so it meant just as much to me. We cried for a minute and then he said " I cried once for me and the gay community and then i cried for you...I know how much you wanted this for me and it made me thank god for a cousin like you! When all was against me, you reminded me to stand tall and keep my head up high" Okay, so ya'll know that just made the water works to come down even harder than before. The day that my cousin can marry and it be recognised by the world will be one of the greatest days of my life....It will finally mean the gay community has pushed past one more barrier and maybe then people will be so much more accepting and support of them. I anticipate the day that gay marriage will be a just as normal as I getting married....I anticipate the day when the world stop treating them like outcast and treat them as the humans they are, i anticipate the day when our sexual preference will no longer be issue...those days will be the days I cry even more tears of joy.

Afternoon Delight.....

I haven't done one of these in awhile and I feel we are due for one.....

Dwayne Wade

No words need for him...

Just take it all in....

Lesson Well Learned....

I stole this off a segment they were holding on the radio and I said Ha! that would be a great blog topic and I would love to hear what ya'll have to say about this one...

What is one thing/lesson you learned in 2009?

I learned that's once a loser always a loser, and that will never change. I tried my hardest in 2009 to help my ex find himself and be a better person but that fool was just stuck on being a spoiled mamas boy for the rest of his life. We weren't even together when i decided that he needed a little push so i sucked up my pride and tried my hardest to show him the way and hold his hand but that fool was beyond stupid. He enjoyed living with grandmar and living off of what his father and mother was providing for him. So i guess it true when people say you can lead a horse to water but can't make them drink it. So in 2010 if i run into any loser i shall not try and help them become better because will be forever losers no matter what!

So Now I would love to hear what thing/lesson you guys have learned in 2009?

The Fianle.......

Have you ever traveled aboard?

I been a couple of places outside the USA..... When I was 14yrs old my God mother took us to Ghana to retrace our roots to see where we came from. It was an amazing experience...they love American there, they wanted everything we had on from our jewelry to our sock they just wanted to wear it. It was an culture shock to the fullest we get so wrapped up in our lives in the states with clothing and blowing cash we never sit back and think about the rest of the world and how they are living it brought me back to reality quick real quick!.... at 17yrs old we went to Italy for my god mothers wedding I loved it there! it was like i was destine to be living there i felt at home beside language thing its and beautiful country so much history and amazing site to take in. and it doesn't hurt that the drinking ass is 16 there either!!!! and last...Jamaica when i was 21 for my sister wedding! and if u haven't been you definitely should it was beautiful and peaceful. everybody should get a taste of paradise in there lives!

If you had one wish to do anything or be anything what would it be?

I would want to be the President of the United States! I want to see what really goes on behind the scene what day to day life consist of. I want to be the one to make the hard decision on things and how see how others influence you. I just want to see how you manage your day to day personal and life and be one of the most powerful people in the country. I know that has to one of the hardest tasks ever. Keeping a straight face when its something going on in your life.

and i'm done!!!!

The Answers.....Part II

If it was humanly possible to live forever would you want to? and Why or Why not?

I feel god has plan for all of us and with that its certain number of years attached to it so when he's done with my plan I don't wanna live far beyond that especially if I just continue to age i don't know if i wanna live to see 289yrs old! that doesn't intrigue me at all. Maybe if I could go back and maybe do my 20's - 30's again every couple of years instead of just continuing to grow old i might be down for that.

What's your favorite Ice Cream?

Mint Chocolate Chip!!!! Which is so fucking hard to find they way I like it. Some have vanilla ice cream with mint flavored chocolate..booooooo to that!! I like to have mint ice cream with chocolate chips in it...smh....that stuff right there is what dreams are made of. Shout out my cuzzo Bo-Bo (don't judge him) for turning me on to that back in the late 90's u da best boy!!!!!

The answers......

Val or Pro Brooklynite came by yesterday and dropped those 6 questions for me to answer and I appreciate it to the fullest since she was my 60th follower we had to have a celebration!!!

I decided to answer her questios 2 at a time so I would have something to blog about because lawd.... knows my mind is drawing a blank So here are the first set of question.....

If you could pick one person who influenced your life the most...Who and How?

Alot of names run through my head with this one but the person who stands out the most is my brother Andre'. People are always amazed at how close we are because he 11 years older than me and we have little to nothing in common. Andre had to overcome many obstacles as a child and adult. He did it with so much determination and drive he has inspired me to be the same way. He's the type of person who is always looking at the glass half full instead of half empty, he supportive and ll that i want to do no matter what crazy shit i come up with...and trust me i have come up with some crazy things too! At times that i feel like i can't do it anymore he is always there to pick me up and hold my hand to help carry me on. it doesn't matter what going on in his life he always has time to share in yours. Because of him he has molded into the person i am today. I watch his selfless ways and just admire the man my brother has turned into and I hope when I'm his age that I can just be half of the amazing person he is.

What is the best Advice you have ever received from your mother?

"A man will only love you as much as you love yourself." At first when she said that to me i was only 17yrs old and didn't really get what she was trying to say to me but it all became clear around 19 or 20. I learned alot from that statement she quoted at my grad. party. Over the years i learned that will you have the deepest love for yourself a man will love you the same way if not stronger. At 17yrs old I wasn't loving myself to much at all, I carried myself strong but inside i wasn't that girl. The relationship I was in at the time wasn't healthy at and because i couldn't love myself more he just loved me the same way. He treated me the way I treated myself with no respect. When i started to love myself more and I got out of that relationship i saw how other men read that self worth and love me just as strong. My mother doesn't know this but that statement probably saved my life......So Thanks Mom.

Number 60..Val or Pro Brooklynite

Lets throw up the ....

and pop the bottles of bubbly

Cuz I have hit 60 followers.....

Shout out to Val or Pro Brooklynite for making that happen!!!

You the best!!

So in honor of her she can ask me six question no matter the content and i shall answer it has honest possible.

Someone Likes Me...

Kreative Blogger Award...

I got this from one of the realist and funniest blogs I have ever read by a Man. Most blogs that I have read by men are so so boring but not this one....I Am Tha Unpretentious Narcissist...make sure you go check him out...

In order to keep the spirit going I'm suppose to list & things I love and 7 people to pass it on to..

and i promise i shall do it the correct way this time instead of putting my own twist on it...so here it goes..

7 thingsI love...

1. Basketball...I have been in love with the sport since i can remember my brother would take me to games and i would watch i on tv with him all the time. Men are pleasantly surprised that i'm that much into it...they usually think its a front! but i got drop knowledge on them from to time so they respect my gangsta! I have my Fave teams Wizards and Lakers and Fave players Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard!

2. My Blackberry....I love him! He has a name and everything, he's the perfect boyfriend He does everything I tell him plus more! I feel so lost and incomplete if I left him at home or his battery dies I wonder around lost without him! His name is Duke!!! don't ask...lol...

3. Frozen Cake...Weird I know...but i love to take slices of cake that has been baked and stick it in the freezer. It taste soooo gooooood. frosting melts in your mouth and i think i just like the taste of cold cake! *Kanye Shrug*

4. Family....I'm all about family and love to have them around..I love them to death!!!! They are wild, crazy and outspoken it gets no better than them. When are all together I can feel the love in the room even when we are being jerks. My best memories are one when my family is included.

5. Sneakers..I'm a sneaker freak!!! which is funny because i don't think i really wear them often! I have tons of sneaker under my bed, in my closest at my sisters house anywhere i can store them. I have some which cost me a lot of money...some that came across seas to get to me and some that I have never even touched pavement before!!!! yes I have a problem.

6. Music....especially music that hasn't made it mainstream. My god brother introduced me to the world of underground music and its were my heart lies. I have been to some extra hood spots to catch underground rappers and singers do there thing.

7. Forehead kisses....They are sweetest and make me warm inside when i receive them! my god father started this when i was young and till this day he has to give me one before goes overseas to serve our country! I can't for him to come home cuz i really need one right about now..

okay here are my 7 people i wanna pass this on to...

My DMV chick..Lipglass and Hangbags.

one of my fave blogger... Traci Lavette....

Starla Monae...she enjoys trashy tv with me!

Adwoa...who has been missing in actions.

my fave college student AGILES

the homie JStar cuz she always showing love

and Ms. Freckles!!!!

Farewell.....

In my New years resolutions I wrote that I was going to let a friendship i had dissolve because i'm tired of trying...well when i wrote that i wasn't sure on how serious I was until today...

Bird and i got to talking about my friendship with people in my life and what they mean to me...I got to thinking long and hard about the people I consider my friends and how they impact my life on a day to day basis. I had answer for him at every name he threw my way without even blinking an eye. Some of the people i have known for years and other have just dropped in my life recently but they all play apart in my life and have place. Some are better at certain thing then others but all in all i can't see life without them.

The last name he questioned me about was prolly one of the first friends of mine he ever met but when he said her name i had no answer for him..i had nothing to say. All of 2009 i spent my time trying repair a relationship from my end and getting nothing from hers. Its funny to me if you had asked me about her a couple of years ago I would of said alot of things about her and why she was my friend but i guess time wore that freindship out. I did all i could to make our friendship work to make it happen but the more i tired the worse it got. I sat back and watched her do things that we never have done to each other in life. I sat back and became her part time friend..the one that ws called only when a question needed to answer,only called when birtday parties are being put together..only be in her presence when others have invited us seperately to an functions. Now I'm not saying i dislike her in any way I'm saying me...sunshine I gave up i threw in the white towel. I gave...she took....I gave some more ..she took some more and at the end of the year we are right back on the page we were 6 months ago. Coming to the conclusion that our friend was going to be dissolved was a very hard choice for me...it saddens my heart to think that in 2010 we may never be friends. I grew in one direction and she grew in another but i guess we never found a middle ground with our friendship. I feel like she excludes me because she feels like i can't relate to what going on in her life...A boyfriend and baby...i guess that makes her so much more different from me. Granted i have no kids but having a boyfriend aint' something that was just invented this year but so be it....its no need to cry over spilled milk right? It was good run while it lasted we had some great times that i will never forget and bad times which made us stronger but somewhere along the line our paths got crossed and we lost each other...Bird told me I shouldn't give up so easily on someone I've been friends with for years but i didn't just make this decision over night..its been maybe 2 years since we have had an rock solid friendship and I'm not sure if we can ever have that again not because i don't want it... because I'm not going to be the one to pursue it I'm tired of trying to make it work...the ball is in her court its her choice to dripple or shoot!!! Because I have taken Sunshine out the game and decided she will ride the bench in 2010. I wonder if she will ever notice that our relationship doesn't exist...I wonder if she will really care that it ended. hmmm i guess time will only tell that one... So I'm bidding farewell to my good friend maybe one day well meet up soon and be like before but until then i close the page on that chapter in my book of life.

U Celibate? what?!?

I have heard that statement over and over again from men that I tell that to! Lol...matter of fact its kinda of entertaining to see how they will react when i drop the bomb on them. I had an conversation not to long ago with a male friend of mine who said...*inserts government name* If you really wanna know if a dude like you ..tell em u ain't fucking and see what happens!* hmmm...at that moment i really didn't care for what he was saying but after numerous of my male friends said the same....i said OK..maybe. When You tell any man that you are celibate you learn alot about them in that one moment....sometimes you can read what they are thinking just by watching there body language change and trust me I have seen some people just shut down at that moment. LMAOOOOOOOOO and entertaining it can be. there are three things that are gonna happen when u drop this bomb...

1. They respect it and keep the relationship together
2.They cut off contact with you and keep it moving or
3. They accept it but have started plotting on how they will get you to drop the panties.

and that's it. you just play it for what it is after that. I say any respectable man will understand wait however long it takes for him to get. Its not always about what lies in between your legs about what in between your shoulders that's were they should be trying to be..all up in that. well, we all know that's not always what it is so i find that being celibate is a perfect way to find out who is down for the ride or who just wants to watch from the bench. I'm 26yrs old and just sexing for no cause is no longer the way I'm trynna go and wasting my time on a dude who just wants to nut are the ones I'm trying to fish out before he gets to acting like he all about me. Telling them I'm celibate has helped me see the light....in the last couple of months have I have watched numerous men hit me with I can handle it shit but in the end...they either got voted off the island or tried to change my mind about it...sorry honey....dropping $$$ on me and talking that fly ish is not going to seal the deal for u. What some men don't understand is.... if you want to impress me and for me to come up off the drawers you should wait me out...patiently....Sit back and enjoy the ride leading up to sex...it can be a great ride. Show me more interest in what i got going on in life instead of what going on between my legs trust and believe when I finally decide to take the plunge and let you hit it..it will be well worth the wait....

p.s. and to let you in on a little secret...I'm NOT Celibate at all...sorry?.....Just need to know where dudes heads are at!!!

Good P.U.S.S.Y.

I had a conversstion last night with Epitome, Myanda, and Mariska about what good dick can make you do!! lmao.....and lawd knows we have all done some out of pocket (that might have been my DC slang) shit just to get served up with that dick that changed your life. After that convo with them I though dannnggg if good dick make us do wild shit I wonder what Good Pussy make males do....

So I sent out an universal bbm to all the dudes i know who aren't bitches about there shit to see what they have done to get back to some good coo coo. As i scrolled threw the answers I was highly entertained and surprised by what they have claimed to do....some made me say ok she must of had that good good for you to that one.... others made me say hmmmm..maybe he's never experienced any real life good pussy...but I did have couple who tried to convince me that they ain't that type of dude to trip off some pussy *side eye* and u know what I say to that..SURE YOU RIGHT!!!! as Mariska would say good pussy will have a dude stuttering and lying to get back to it....leaving his basketball game early to get a hit of it...rollin' out early from a family function to lay up in it. .lying and saying he don't eat pussy but will tongue it down if it mean another hit..lmaoooo and she's right cause these answers were very entertaining.

You know I'm gonna share some of those with yall....here they go...

" I left my post for at for 2hrs at work and almost got fired...cuz the pussy was calling"

" Shhhhiiiiitttt... I was late for my graduation was cuz i was all up in some good stuff."

"Left my brother's reception early to get to it..I mean i don't fuck with my brother like that anyway"...lol.. smh..OK so that was my cousin.

"I live up north drove 5hours Southto get to it....hmmm.... and it was worth the drive."

"I mean i haven't but i know dudes who have ate the ass cuz the pussy was so so good....but not I" ....lmao @ this one to..boy u kno it was you and not your man....stop lying.

" I left my daughter's birthday party early because i had some good stuff lined up...I mean she had cut the cake and opened the gifts...so i felt it was over"

" I faked an injury at my football game so i could roll out early...i mean we was winning so me leaving ain't hurt...lol"

"Left my niggs at the club so i could get it...i mean that was my young days"

" I almost missed the plane back to nyc cause i had to take some good puddah in the bathroom to get it...lol...those were the days before i got married"

smh....There was much more but i promised some ppl I wouldn't discuss there extraness on my blog so those are the ones i found the funniest! It goes much deeper than buying a girl the world for good stuff dudes do crazy shit just like us to get a taste of some good good. They are always trying to play us as the one who go all out to get dicked down proper but as you can see they are just bad as us....

New Years Dress?

This year I decided that rather sitting at some low key party for NYE was not how i was going to bring in my 2010 like the past years, I'm trying to bring it in on a much larger scale than usual. We hittin up the rooftop party at The W hotel.....So needless to say I now have to find an outfit to wear so I can bring in the New Year right.....and not my usually jeans and cute top to match.


I narrowed it down to 2 dresses but now the hard challenge is which one doI like more and I'm not gonna lie I love them both...alot...one is not really me but the other is more of my style but it can only be one winner and that where I need your help. So here they are and tell me what you think...

Dress #1
Now I'm not big on color but this cute....
not my style but it never hurts to try....




Dress #2
Now the little black just can't go wrong with this one. I can dress it up or down and plus i already have shoes for and a necklace

Give me your insight tell me what you think...cause lawd knows i have no idea which one i really want!!!!

Ps. I know there are a couple of dudes who slide by from time to time and I definitely want to hear from yall...guys are sometimes better judges than girls.

Well Okay....

Well well well....Good Ole Tiger Woods, What is really going on? Apparently a whole lot because the women of his past and present just can't keep their mouths shut! When I first heard the report that Tiger had allegedly cheated on his wife it was no surprise to me, that is one of the factors that may come with marrying an athlete...sometimes they cheat ...sometimes they don't. No one ever knows what cards you will be dealt until its your turn to play. I turned to station after station and there he was and every ones ears were open to see what the latest news was. I wonder is the world so interested because its Tiger Woods or because he cheated on his ex white model wife? Make you think doesn't it...

What Tiger is accused of doing is something that happens every day to people in any given city. Its nothing new for a man to get caught cheating on his wife with numerous lovers so why does it interest the world so much. I might sound a little racist for what I'm about to say but hmmmm....its how i feel...and like the name of my blog If you don't like my opinion...that's fine.

Kobe Bryant was once to caught up in a cheating scandal that shocked the world d but i think not because the L.A. Laker's Kobe had been caught cheating and of rape more that he was cheating on his not black wife and the world was appalled by it. I sat back and watched all the news coverage of his cheating ways and saw the nation ate it up from court case to court case from every piece of jewelery he brought his wife until he beat his charges we were on the edge of our seats to see where this would lead us and where did it?

Another cheating scandal pops in my head when I think of Kobe and Tiger...Micheal Jordan. I wonder if anyone really remembers his story *Kanye shrug* I'm sure many DO NOT! Jordan was married to his wife for 17yrs and in that time he managed to cheat numerous times but only one really stood out..a white girl by the name of Karla who filed suite against him but do you remember seeing that on every talk show, gossip site and news station because who cares about the black man cheating on his black wife....or at least that's how i feel about it. Steve McNair cheated on his wife and the only reason the world paid it any kind of mind was because his story ended oh so very tragic and once i sit back and think about it his died down rather quickly after his funeral the media just wasn't interested on what lead him to do it. A pretty picture was painted of Tiger and his home life which made me laugh until I got tears in my eyes...Is he the only athlete who has a wife, kids and a booming career to cheat on his wife? because most of them and that and more. It angers me that the media is so much more interested in exposing him because of his choice of wife....Does it make there situation much more news worthy because he cheated on his white wife is that what we are so amazed by..that after scoring himself and beautiful non black wife that he would have the balls to cheat on her.. Think about the women who get cheated on everyday why isn't there stories just as news worthy as Tigers is. OK So what he cheated...So what he got caught....So what he left one of his women a message...so what he cheated with a stable of women he's not the first athlete to do so and he won't be the last. They care so much because it was Elin he cheated on and not Iesha


Would the media been just as interested if Tiger had found Shanika, Fahtima and Lashelle to cheat on his wife with instead of Kelly, Chrissy and Mallory? Would they spend so much time and effort to expose him and his indiscretions if he was flying women of color all over the world to have sex with? We would the world still be giving him the side eye from hell if this all under different circumstances.

Welcoming 2010!

Every year around this time my cousins and I get together our new years resolutions and share them with each other to see how we can help each other or just to listen about how we will improve in the new year. I decided today that I wold share this with you guys before send out my mass email to those heffas and they drop there input i wanna hear other people thoughts so here they go...

• I think this year i might think bout becoming someone girlfriend *covers eyes* lol..I never thought the day would come when I say I miss that feeling of being with someone but i do...lol....but I'm still a g!

• I plan to save money for a couple of things i wanna do in 2010.

1. buy a new car.
2. Go to Atlantic City for my birthday
3. Buy myself this Tiffany's necklace since i have no one who will get it for me for Xmas *sigh*

• I want to lose maybe 15 to 20 pounds before the summer. I'm the heaviest I have ever been in my life and I don't like it at all.

• I wanna try some new cuisine. From places I usually wouldn't eat. I want to taste the world. So a different restaurant once a month to expand my horizons...Feel free to join me...lol

• I plan on going back to school sometime in 2010...don't know when or what i want to major in I just know it will happen.

• I wanna have more time for me. i feel like i spend so much time trying to please other ..friends,family..etc..that i never really have time for me. there are times i pass up shit just to please the people around me not anymore.

• I shall learn how to swim!!! I hate getting my hair wet but i will sacrifice just for that one thing and once i learn it will never swim again!...lmao.

• I'm going to call or text my family and friends once a week with "I Love You" so if they haven't heard it at least they would know that i love them...awwww....I'm so sweet!
  

• I thought about savaging a friendship i once had but in 2010 i don't think i will. I tried once and i did my share now its in there court if they wanna save whatever we had they know where to find me in 2010 *sigh*.

I think that's it for now at least! I always look at the list and wonder how many of these will i actually follow through with it and which ones will get lost in the struggle *kanye shrug* but who knows maybe I'll stick with all of them.

So what is some of yall's resolutions? Anything that you have been putting off for all of 2009 and now you are ready to deal with it? holla at me with it!

Randomness...

I got alot of thought roaming around in my head and I didn't know where to start with them so here they are just a tidbit...

• Today I realized that I can't work here anymore! Everyday is a new struggle for me. I hate my job and the people who work here more and more everyday. So my job hunt will be in full speed on 2010 so watch out now.

• The weight I am now is the heaviest I have ever been in my life and i don't like it at all. So I have decided to start a diet on Jan. 1. I need to find a workout partner cuz i don't have one I won't do it. Feel free to join me!

• I wanna travel more next year go places that i have never experienced. Not even like extra exciting place just travel. I have lived in MD all my life and I can't ever remembering about to Williamsburg, VA which isn't even that far so maybe that will be first on my list of places.

• I think I wanna join the big brother/big sister program. I think it will be nice to a positive figure in some child life.

• My Aunt pointed out to me the other day that when I'm having hard time dealing with something I tend to distant myself from others and she's right. My cousin's death made me take a step back and reevaluate everything about life. My bff had a baby and love them both to death I just had to step back from it. Its hard for me to deal with the fact that having babies may never occur for me. I think I'm jealous...I know I'm jealous of the situation it breaks my heart to know that I may never experience carrying a child or raising a baby of my own.

• Auntie also pointed out that when I have dealt with whatever I'm going through i bounce back like i never left....i hate to admit it twice in one blog but...she's right again..Shout out Auntie for knowing oh so well.

• i want to buy a new car in 2010 but have no idea what I want! All i know is it has to have a navi for my travels.

• I met a couple of people over the last couple of months who have changed me alot. I learned from all of them that its OK to open to people so they get to know you better instead of hiding the real me.....

hmmmm... I think that I'm going to end this now cause i just inspired to write a blog real quick....I think...lol...