....

Last night wasn't a good night for me....So much going on so much stress coming from it...I guess when it rain...it pours because last night it poured hard....

While I was wallowing in my sorrow alot of things started to cross my mind from this topic to that topic...my thoughts were all over the place. I guess it was my brains way of clearing it out before the new year so I can go in with much less to think about in 2010....So here are my random thoughts of the night...

Where in the hell is Tiger Woods at? I mean its not the end of the world because you got caught with all those hoes! From the school teacher to Porn Star..you did it we know you did it, own up to it...we shall not forget! He needs to come out and just face the music and as Bird was say "He runnin' round bitchin' up...if you ran through em...you ran through em..u ain't the first or the last!" So Tiger holla at us!..lol

I know I have been talking about 2010 awhole lot the past couple of weeks and days but now my nervousness about it is setting in. I hate not being able to expect something....the worst or best I have no idea what it is going to bring and it makes my tummy hurt a little..*covers eyes*

Why do other expect me to like something you didn't even fuck wit a couple of weeks and some causes a month ago. You can't fill me up with all the negative and now that you think you like it, I'm suppose to too!! You can't lead me to believe that something is better be cause you changed your mind because I haven't....and won't!

Epitome told me I act and think to much like a boy!! lol...maybe she's right and i know this already but its a hard thing to shake my life consisted of being the only girl with the boys so I picked up all the habits good or bad its in me...but as Williamh said while I'm thinking like a boy there are some dudes who are thinking like girls...so that made me think maybe in 2010 I'll lighten up on my boy habits and focus more on my female habits. Which is kinda scary because no one wants to get hurt and me thinking more male like defends me from that...So I'm just going to take a leap and see what happens.

Epitome also told told me I surround myself with asshole and jerks in the men I entertain and I need to close that chapter and open a new one....and i thought about it..and.....we shall see what comes about in 2010 prolly not much of nothing and as I thought about it...when others change it up...I'll change it up....

I hate thirsty ass dudes and girls!!! That is probably one of my pet peeves...don't be so hungry and worrisome...that shit gets old rapidly...smh...no ones wants that shit and why would you even wanna be that person. Its an huge turn off!!! The more you push yourself on someone the more they wanna run away..I tired to tell my cousin that but he wasn't hearing me at all! No one likes that shit at all. As the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater...I believe once thirsty you will always be looking for something to drink *Kanye shrug*

Why is every young girls aspiration to be a Barbie or a 5 star chick!! What in da hell?!? Where did we go wrong in life...What happened to being a successful and respected women?!...What happened to having aspirations to be a doctor, lawyer... and maybe even president?!? Come on ladies we got to do better! but i guess i can't really blame young females when all the women you look up to are half dressed and screaming about how they barbie this...who is plastic and fake and how they five star chicks I see how they could get confused.

Read something last night about Chris Henry and it made me so angry!! Why when young African Americans pass away the world talks about all the wrong turns he made in life and never about who was all together. Who care if he almost got cut from the Bengals or how many DUIs he got. The point of the matter is a young man lost his life far before he got to live it and he left behind 3 young child who will grow up without him! and on a side note Brittany Murphy died and I can't remember hearing anything negative about her...things that make u say hmmmmmm....

I think I want another tattoo!!! matter of fact i know I want another one....what, i don't know but it will be coming so stay tuned....

People always want others t change themselves without them joining in to. You can't expect others to follow if you ain't leading to begin with...Shout out Kiah for that one...

and Shout outs to i am tha unpretentious narcissit for dropping some words of encouragement while i was sinking into my sadness....let me drop what he said on ya'll one time..

"I'm sorry, hopefully it'll turn around fast (in a few days) or just go ahead and end. and you can start fresh w/ a new year".....I don't know why but just hearing I'm sorry from someone who doesn't know me made it a lil bit more encouraging....a little bit more real

and to Bird for dropping some encouragement on me too...

"thunderstorms end and after that what do u see?????SUNSHINE!!!!...remember that!"

and my last shout out to my Reesey Pooh for still having me LMAO @ her saying us not talking n a couple of days is Like when Rocafella broke up all over again!!...I hate her!!! Lawd knows I hate her!

okay...Now I'm Out!!!!!