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Khaki asked me a couple of days ago why Bird and I aren't together, and didn't have real answer for her. Usually when people ask me that question I stray away from it, for the past 7 years I have heard that question countless times from countless people and I never have a logic answer for them.
Last night while talking to Epitome about any and everything, I had a Eureka Moment! Now its not a answer to the age old question of "Why Bird and I aren't together" but its a start to the quest for the answer lol.. I realized that the bond I share with Bird runs deep...real deep. Over the past seven years we have been through a lot together. From him travel back forth over seas to death he has always been around to ease or make thing better for me and vise versa. Every boyfriend I have had over the past couple of years could never compare to the relationship I share with Bird. He's one of my closest friends, one of the few people who understand my method behind all of my madness. I see now that I push other males away from me, I keep them I arms length because I try to keep my pathway to and from Bird wide open, I never let any male stand in the way,which I don't know if its a good thing or bad one yet. A part of me feels like I owe Bird that much for all we have been through. Don't get me wrong I do entertain other men, I just don't sit around and wait on him to decide to commit to me but I will say one of the main reason I have no boyfriend is because I always think to myself what if I be with someone else and he decides I'm the love of his life wants to be together....what do I do..Do i break up with the person I'm with to be with Bird or Do I just let Bird go and continue on with my relationship?...See so many question. I decided along time ago I didn't to be put in that situation so I keep my pathway wit him wide open..
Shout out to Khaki for realizing when I talk about future plan he is always included in that..OK OK and she's right I have no real reason for us not to be together..its just me being me. shhhhh..don't tell her that!
Shout to Epitome for having me crying last night..after I told her not to!!!*wiping tear*
3 comments:
A-HA! BUSTED!
I think you just need to go ahead and be with bird and have little birds or chicks and do the nest shit. Seriously, it's obvious that you want him. You just need to find out if he feels the same way and go from there.
I need to talk to Bird like today.
PS how come nobody called me for the tearfest last night. I wanna cry like a bitch sometimes. hmmpf!
I'm glad I could be the catalyst to your epiphanny...sometimes you know in the back of your mind but just need to talk (and have someone just listen) until it comes to the front. And you told me not to blog about crying and here you go telling how I made you cry! LOL.
@khaki two crying bunnies was two too many, a third and we woulda been in a funk all night...especially since the stories are similar in nature.
Anywho...I gots tah go now cause I still gotta pack all this hair and clothes so I can be on the road on time by 5 so we can cause fuggary and madness lmao!
Yea I had one of those men for 21 years...I thought I wanted him all that time...So, I gave it a shot...and he wasnt who I wanted after I saved myself for him all these years...He was cool for the friend with benefits thing but not a relationship. I let go some really good men for him. I am just saying to find out what it is and if its worth it. yesterday is gone and 2morrow will be here before you know it. Dont waste time...That could just disappear right before your eyes...I suggest talking to him about how you feel...
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