About Me

My photo
The DMV, United States
I'm young, black, single and fabulous!!! Trying to live my life to the fullest before its all said and done with . I'm just trying to figure it all out!


Monday, October 21, 2013

How Did We Get Here?

So I havent blogged in a lonv time. My life is pretty boring and is full of work and school....and I hate my job!! I am trying to do better...way better and blog once a month but it is a consistent struggle. Let me see where I should start with what has been going on.

I dont if I shared it before but let me share it again, lil Richmond and I broke up. This was hard hard thing for me because I was in love well at least I thought I was. He basically woke up one day called me angry and I said I dont wanna do this no more..he didnt want more kids..a wife..the white pickett fence or dog. It crushed me..I was confused and sad for a long period of time. Deep down inside I wanted to scream dont do this I love you but I got too much pride for that. Needless to say I moved on..we dont speak and that is for the best. I have seen a couple of men since them but only two have made me so omg I like him! One still lingers around he is a wonderful person I just know it aint going nowhere. The second *sigh* well lets say he played me well.. Very well. One minute everything is great I am in his city with him having fun laughing jokin flirting attending his dj events with him and the next minute he is on ig flexin IG hash tagging a pic of him and a chick with #mylady. His time around here borrowed and payback for him will be sweet *shrugs*

I had an old male friend return into my life...he came around at one of my lowesf points in my life. Unknown to many I have battled depression and off for a couple of years and his return was around the time my depression was at its highest point. He was there to provide support while I sorted things out. I thank for him that. I didnt want to or rather I have been fighting for years but I definitely like him far more than I thought I did. He walks I to a room my stomach gets butterflies...I see his name pop up on my phone I smile BUT...I know him and I will never be...for a list of reasons...it is hard to I like someone much more than they know. It kinda saddens me what I guess so is life.  I have officially given up on love and meeting someone great. ..I know I shouldnt but hey im over it all. I dont know how I got here nobody is suppose to be here but I am


Anonymous said...

Hi, sorry to hear about your struggles. Please don't give up on love. I also suffer from depression so i am interested in knowing how you are dealing with it. For me i have tried several anti-depressants but none of them has worked that well. All the best.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

I'm so mad I missed your posting!! Haven't we ALL been going through IT! I hope you are feeling a bit better since this last entry.

Nina said...

Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl! We've all been there like Starrla said. I think I'm there now. It gets to a point where you're just tired. Tired of putting your heart through the ringer for no damn reason at all.

I've also battled depression off and on. Sometimes, people are there to be your silver lining. YES, we need love and we want it to work out but also, we kind of have to let people be there for us and that's that.

Don't give up hope! But, also...don't let that be the one thing driving you...

Everything is going to be okay. :)