Oh 2011..Here You Come....

I just glanced up at the calendar and realized that in less than 48 hours it will be 2011....smh...This year I would have to say just flew right passed me..lawd knows 2010 was a roller coaster ride of events some for the best and worse of me...Did a couple of things i wish i shouldn't have and some things i never accomplished..Do I regret any of it?!? HELL NAW! At the time it all occurred it is exactly what I wanted to do I have no apologizes..

I usually have a list of things I want to do different in the new year but i have been slacking on writing anything down ..clearly yall know that from my lack of blogging...but today I spot at Miss StarrlaMonae's (she is one of my faves) and saw she had a couple of things she wanted for 2011 and she inspired me to come up with a couple myself....2011 seemed so far away from me 10 years ago when I graduated from High school...I thought things would be so different for me than what they are but hey! at least I'm alive and healthy and still have a job unlike alot of people.

Here they go....

I got to do better with attending church! I think i said this last year around the same time but i get so caught up in radom stuff that I rarely praise him...this year shall be different.

I'm not drinking from January 2 - May 2...*sad face* I decided to do this when someone asked me do I ever go out and not drink..good question..I do..but i just want to see how long I can go without hell maybe I'll stop completely...............................................NAAAAHHHHHHH...LOL

I thought about mending some old relationships and working on some current ones but I'm not going to say i don't have the desire I'm just tired of being THAT person...so ill wait...

Save..Save...save...money because debt is killing me slowly...i got things i want to do with my life and this is holding me back.

I shall be leaving bird alone in 2011...If lil Richmond makes it to 2011 with us then Bird will be a thing of the past...let us pray

After many conversations with @studiogenius about many topic I'm going to work on my communication skills with Lil Richmond..I think I just want him to just know what i want and have all the answers without me telling him...I see now that is the reason we fight so much. Thanks ATL.

I'm going to actually put it in full gear on finding a new job. I have been playing around with it for a while not really being too serious about it but 2011 i'm no longer gonna be stuck here..doing this...

Last but not least.... I gotta spend more time with my god son...He is growing up sooo fast and before i know he will be an teenager and not thinking about me anymore

Will He? Or Will He Not?

The question of the hour which has been swirling around my friend and little bit of my family circle is....

Will He or Will He not make into 2011 with us? *shrugs*

We been having some real rough times lately a little bit of this and a little bit of that don't know where it is going to lead Lil Richmond and I ...I can't say if the ball drops will he be still holding on strong or getting left behind in 2010..................

I guess in a couple of days we will see......

That Is What Friends Are For..

I guess sometimes I'm not the right friend to share certain things with...I'm just not the sugar coat it make u feel better friend especially when I feel a certain way about something. Some of my friends love it, other hate that about me but hey at least you know I love you and looking out for them.

One of my young friends since the day I have met her has had some issue or another with her boyfriend *rolls eyes* At first I never really spoke on her situation when she shared her stories of this and that of their relationship matter of fact most of the time i wasn't really listening to most of them...I remember being that young girl wrapped up in a semi older dude and thinking that he was the love of my life no matter how wong he does me..so thats is why i often opted out of the older a lil wiser advice for her. I didn't want to be that friend who was preachin' to her lawd knows we all hate that friend and i knew the moment any advice or thoughts left my mouth things would change between us...which shouldn't but i watched her do the same with other ppl so be it. I've been there to save her from alot of situations with him....the night he put her out @ 4am, the time he left her in downtown DC, handed her tissues when she cried I guess I took over the big sister role for her, she reminds me so much as myself @ 22 that its scary cuz i know my nose was wide open for my bf @ the time.

Christmas eve marked another day she calls me upste about what he has done....this time i smh...and just listened to the foolishness that this break up was about..she wouldn't drop him off @ his fathers house *bbm straight face* she poured her ehart out to me cried while telling me he said fuck x-mas don't get me shit and we are through....smh...Of course I wasn't gonna comment too much on the situation just offer a couple of he"ll get over it and stop crying word but this time when i opened my mouth to speak those word they didn't actually leave they just filled me thoughts. I told her what it really was ...."Courtni, you are far ove in love with him then he is with you...like are u serious just two weeks ago he put you out his house and didn't think twice about it. When are you going to get tired of the back and forth shit and call it quits? he's playing and you allow it to go on...before you get tired and figure out who Courtni is without him...shit take a mental help day" She didn't respond the whole time i was talking matter of fact i tired to stop myself from saying the things i know she didn't want to hear but fuck it that is what friends are for to give you the truth when you don't want to hear it. She took a deep breath when it was all over and nicely excused herself from our phone conversation...

and of course her and her bf got right back together filling my TL on twitter with I wish he was he/she was here tweets.... and just like I thought she hasn't spoken to since that day..I know sometimes the truth hurts and in this case she definitely needed to hear it...@ 22 I thought almost the same way thought that maybe things would get better or that when we are good things are wonderful but in reality it just made me age much faster than what i wanted to. It is hard watching her chase after something that isn't chasing her. I thought I felt bad about what i said maybe because with her I baby her much more than the others...give her a little bit more soft words but hell I'm her friend and the truth needed to spoken... especially since she wonders why she doesn't have any real friends....hmmmm maybe because the roller coaster ride with ur BF is just too much for them...and shit if you can't have the relationship with your friends that sometimes you get a reality check then why are we even friend...hell thats what they are for. I thought about calling her and smoothing things over with her but *shrugs* I'm not apologizing for what is the truth nor my thoughts...I didn't start appreciating advice from older friends until it was too late ...I'm 27 and still enjoy a reality check from old head friends...trust me I get from @studiogenius often...which I value alot....

Maybe in 2011 she will get over it maybe she won't but that is exactly what friends are for....

Boy Craze

She often talks about settling down and getting married asap but then i listen to her talk about everybody's boyfriend she seeing and/or fucking behind their girlfriends back. She sometimes remind me of that 16 year old boy crazy that i once was minus the sex or that sheltered girl who finally got freedom, which is none of the above for her. She is far from 16 and didn't live a sheltered life matter of fact she went to college a HBCU so she got her share of fun in. So it confuses me that now @ 27 she is living the life most of my friends turned down and sent away. When we go out its all about the men who are going to be there and what they can offer her?!? *bbm straight face* Its rare that we have a convo that doesn't lead into some dude she was fucking and now she isn't well at least that is what she tries to lead me to believe but she keeps her business far to open. A bad habit she has is messing with dudes who have the same friend circle....and they talk lawd knows they talk. I think she believes she is dogging them out but in reality they are the ones laughing.

We went out of town together and I knew the moment i sat in the car it was a bad move but i continued on with it. We talked the whole ride about life and of course the one who isn't living right is trying to tell me how to live mine. She talked about getting married like usually cuz it aint nothing out her....*side eye* but when we got to our destination it was awhole new bar game for the most part it was what i expected until...long story short she brought some dude back to the room and fuck him while my friend and I was sleeping.....pause...yep you heard me right...I knew at that moment that our friendship wasn't what it seemed. This is the person who wants to married asap..yeah OK....I tried offering my advice about her action especially after one drops her and find a suitable girlfriend but she never catches the memo. She recently stopped telling me about her escapades because she says I'm judging her...she's probably right but hey that is her life but you won't find the all star you looking for with a past that read of nothing but bench warming and fucking. I was sitting at my desk today wondering if she sees the fact i kinda pulled out of our friendship i needed a time out for that life she was living of course if she does she blames it on Lil Richmond and how much time he requires out of my life but truth be told I'm just seeing how i should play this whole friendship out. Especially day after day she is offering me advice on shit i didn't ask for. I want the best for her and to be honest she is a great person she understands my fears and when we are together we are having fun I just don't want her to so lost in her boy crazed phase that we loss her too.

Guess Who?

So I'M BACK!!!!!! *air humps* After much fighting with the IT department and selling my soul just tad bit i got them hoes to release my shit and give me back blogger! Who wants to do work when there is blogging that needs to be done! *shrug*

I have to say work is my only free blogging time because when I hit home its nothing but school, food and sleep going on there. So this is the perfect spot...I thought I would have much to say when i logged in here but yeah maybe not....I'll try!