Storytellin' Continues....

My head is now throbbing even more now that I have some unknown man in my bed...that white shirt that nearly broke my neck when I ran to the bathroom had to be his. Oh, I stood there in shock for at 5 minutes before he rolled over …. Now my legs became weak when I saw his face because never in a million years who I think he would be here right now….MY CRUSH FROM MIDDLE AND HIGH SCHOOL! My heart slowed down its pace but we were still confused on the who, what, when, how and why of this whole situation, especially since although we was once great friends I hadn’t seen nor heard from him in almost a year… I had no idea how he got there or why is was there…well one thing is for certain with me not having the answer to a lot of things I do know we had sex because the 2 condom wrappers on the floor was more than enough proof…well at least we was safe right?!? I had clue of what had happened the night before no the slightest idea…I couldn’t tell you if I did some nasty porno shit or if the sex was even worth it, all the alcohol that ran through my system had me on my head.

Once he woke up I tried my hardest not to act weird shit this was the dude I use to day dream about in 4th period while in high school, the same dude that I ran my ass up to this HBCU to see play football and sit around @ 2am in his dorm doing nothing just so I could be around him….and now he is standing in my bedroom naked and I have no idea how or what went on….We went to breakfast and I kept him talking to piece my evening together…apparently, I called him when I left the club, said some outrageous things to him confessed how I have crushed on him since I was 13 and that was all she wrote *hug sigh* Alcohol is the devil! Now I was dreading the moment I would have to take his ass home because he was roommates with one of my friends R.P, whom I wrote about many moons ago and I didn’t want him to see me didn’t want him to know that the crush spent the night with me…..the coast was clear and I made a clean getaway never to talk to my crush again….

And that people was my first and only one night stand I have ever had in my life…..

Storytellin' Time

*takes off shoes* *sitting Indian style on the floor and opens book*

It was one of my friends 25th birthdays and we decided to take ourselves to this new hotel with a club planted on there top floor…we dropped big $$$ to get in then hopped on the all glass elevated headed to the top, made some small talk with some business guys on it and before we knew it VIP was where we was at. The alcohol flowed all night and of course we drank…shot after shot of patron…but whatever else the bartender was serving! Sooooo all is blur from the car ride…which I drove *cover eyes* until my driveway I found myself @ 4:30am sitting in the driveway Indian style picking up everything that I fallen out of my purse smdh…lawd must have been on my side that night cuz anything could have gotten me……

Now lets fast forward…..

I wake up in the morning head pounding and my bladder full, I run to the bathroom and trip over a white shirt…I stop and say “self u wore all black last night where did that comes from?* but of course I paid it no mind and rushed in the bathroom. I come out to just wrap myself in the covers and sleep my life away when I almost shit myself when I see another body laying in my bed… a man’s body at that! My throat goes dry, I can hear my heart beating out of my chest and I can’t breath... who in the hell could this be? I run to the window look outside no car is park out front besides mine so now I’m really in panic mode….I call my friends and they are just as hungover as me and have no clue what happened after I dropped them off….So what in the hell Sunshine?!? Did u pick some random dude up at the gas station and don’t remember….

I Miss He!

I miss him alot...a whole lot...although we are still friends and talk from time to time....we don't have that connection we use to have. I decided awhile back that in order for Lil Richmond and I to really...I mean really work I had to let Bird go.... It was a hard thing to do...not because the sex was GREAT but because he has always been there for me....When I didn't have any friends he was that....when I need someone he has always been that for me. I miss our late night talks about nothing, our inside jokes and our heart felt moments its hard keeping so far away from me. It had to be done though I had to do this I didn't realize how much is was going to hurt me! Someone asked me the other day if I feel this way why don't we just be together? lls I get that often when it comes to him but we could never be we are too much alike for it to ever work and besides I don't think I could ever ever really trust him ever after the having a baby incident....

We still talk but just not like we use to, I know he has noticed that change he even spoke on it once but he also knows that my feeling and heart runs deep for Lil Richmond and this had to be done...he calls we talk....i may call him...we talk and that its no hanging out, no sharing secrets just blah of a convo...

I MISS HIM ALOT!!!! *wipes tear*

Sunshine Day Has Begun!!!!

*strecthes* I was woke up my the rings and dings of my cell phone with my Aunt and God mother trying to be the first to wish me Happy Birthday!!!!! I love those two soooo much they are always the first to remind that today is the day when its all about me and no one else!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...........

I thank god for granting another year of life and another to get better!!! I don't really know what today has in store for me besides lunch with my main squeeze Khaki! *blows kisses* I do know it will be very low key which I'm going to love I use to do make it a big deal but this year not at all just some Sunshine time..... I'll Holla!

........

The first week or so being home wasn't no thing, i kind of enjoyed being able to sleep as late as I wanted and to catch up on all my trashy talk shows but by week 3 I was soooo over it!!! It has drained me....

I got laid off about a month ago *pauses for all the awwww's*. I wasn't too hurt at all, matter of fact I was kind of relieved that it happened, I think people was looking for me to put on this huge act and fall out crying and screaming but in reality its life and it happens. The only thing that did bring a little tear to my eye was knowing that bills are going to keep coming but the money certainly will not. I packed up my little desk said my good bye, promised to stay in contact to whomever was left and headed for the door and I never once looked back. I personally thought I would be a little bit more hurt but I wasn't, I really didn't enjoy my job anyway in fact I felt as if I was wasting my life away by being there I just didn't want to be jobless when I left there. So the sting of being unemployed wore off and I started my days of sitting home. Week 1 I thought it was the best thing ever hell I always screamed I wanted to be a housewife and week 2 was kind of OK too but week 3 I just couldn't take it anymore. I have done everything in my powers to keep me entertained....I mean everything....I flooded myself with homework, cleaned my closest out...twice and read...and I'm still reading! I have come to the conclusion that being at home is just not for me...nope....that housewife dream has been set on fire...I have to be doing something doing the day or I would lose my mind and I have come close to it....I pray every day that someting is going to save me from boredom because after the school work is done and the job search has been completed its just like.....hmmmmmm... whats next? its only so many nap you can take before you are just over that too! I never thought in a million years would say this but I 'm over Maury too!!! smdh....I use to love Maury until you see the same shit every other day.....and the next week and so forth. I know I have drove Lil Richmond and my friends crazy because I keep them talking to me through out the day via bbm, email, or skype...i need some form of contact with the outside world!

I thought to myself one afternoon with hell you could be blogging but to be honest I have absolutely nothing to talk about when you are at home alllllllll day long finding things to write about is the hardest thing ever...currently right now as we speak I probably have 5 or 6 blogs that haven't been complete because I have no desire to do so or after I start to write about them they become boring....real boring....but I do miss you guys with all my blog heart! In bet ween my job search I have promised myself I'm gonna do a blog a week *sigh* yeah we shall see how that goes....

Throwback Thursday

10th grade I believe....

This was during i refuse ti smile in pictures phase and when I was sooooo

wrapped up in dog that i couldn't even see straight he had me wide open!

I look at this picture and wonder what was going through my head around that time

Was i getting myself prepared for what would happen later which i remember clear as day what happened after school and this was the day I had to learn how to use make y up to cover bruises....