About Me

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The DMV, United States
I'm young, black, single and fabulous!!! Trying to live my life to the fullest before its all said and done with . I'm just trying to figure it all out!


Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Could You?

This came about after watching Love and Hip Hop; Stevie J got his side piece pregnant.  Well, of course me and a couple of my friends had to discuss the show and the question was asked…COULD YOU STAY WITH A MAN WHO GOT ANOTHER CHICK PREGNANT?  All of our answered varied from yes, no, maybe…only if and so on.

Well, once upon a blue moon I did that…I stayed with a boyfriend who had went out and had a baby with another person. *pauses for the gasps* now that is over let me say at the time I thought I was in love, I lived and breathed him, he was everything I thought I wanted in a man until….He dropped this baby bomb on me, well actually he didn’t the other chick called me…we met up and she told me all that I needed to know.  Needless to say I walked away from that convo numb to everything around me.  When I confronted him with my new found information he denied it for a loooonnnngg time and since I was blinded by his “love” I believed him, we never spoke of that baby until the day she came into the world.  He jumped up one night and sprinted to the door and I heard from him 12 hours later when he told me that the baby was his and she had arrived.  I remember sitting at the foot of his bed crying my eyes out and wanting to throw up.  So here I was standing at a crossroad to stay or to go, now back then I just knew he was going to be my husband, I thought my heart only beats for him and because I didn’t want the baby mama to have him I stayed.  That was one of the worst decisions I had ever made in my life.  I spent the next couple of months trying to accept this new baby and the fact that he gone all the time to spend time with this baby.  I thought that I could move from this we could be together I was sadly mistaken, I envied the attention the attention the baby was getting and couldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.  If he was seeing her, which I found out he continued to see who else was he seeing….oh and that list was long. 

If I could do it all over again…I would have NEVER stayed with him…never ever ever.  What is done in the dark always comes to light and it did for him, once the trust was gone it was nothing left for us..nothing at all.  



Monique said...

Ohhh I get to answer this question first. :)

My response: HELL TO THE NO! Boyfriend, husband, etc. You were in a committed relationship with me and betrayed me and my trust. I can't be with someone who doesn't respect my body and my life enough to go have unprotected sex with someone else. And now you have an even bigger responsibility to tend to and I can't be a part of that. I can't lie to myself and say I would be fine with it. I wouldn't be. Trust would be completely done.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

I am over here rocking back and forth shaking my head like Miss Sofia on The Color Purple!! Mannnn listen...if he had it in him to disrespect me to the point where he intentionally had sex with someone unprotected KNOWING the consequences and she ended up pregnant...they can have each other. They will obviously be in each others lives forever because of this child and I will be full of damn resentment. NO and NO!! There's no way to tell me I can't say what I wouldn't do until I was in that situation...hell I'm not trying to go there! Please believe if any of us (women) came home pregnant with another man's baby, the dude would hit the road so quick! I wish Mimi would get some damn self esteem! She's too pretty to be so damn dumb!

Freckles said...

Once upon a time I was planning a wedding to a manthat could have told me the sky was purple and I would have believed him to some extent. I loved him and he loved me. I told him to watch out for a particular woman that attemtpted to be way to nice to me because she was into him. He laughed me off and stated that I was acting jealous. Several months later that woman came to our home that were to move into after we got married to share with me that she was 15 weeks pregnant and she wanted to let me know since he didnt seem to want to. She shared that she had wanted him and was going to have him withtheir baby. Luckily I had friends there that would not have allowed me to woop her ass and helped me pack my shit that day. There are so many lines crossed and I am not the crazy lady. They both confirmed that it had only happened once tho I knew she was trying to make it be a regular occurence. He said he loved me and wanted to move past it but I didnt have the fight in me. The betrayal was too much on too many levels. I was not ever going to be able to love or feel any sort of respect for that baby, I love some respect for him and I wanted to fight that woman.

all that to say I didnt want to play a fool and didnt. I do not regret it.

LakiSwirl said...

My pride wouldn't let me stay. I tried taking back a man who cheated on me, and I couldn't even do that. That's the ultimate slap in the face. Not only did he cheat, but he cheat without protection. I can sympathize with some women who stay... The younger naive girls, the women who've been married to him for 15+ years... But that's not for me. I'd rather be happy and alone than miserable and in a relationship.

MyKingsQueenThrone said...

I've always said that an outside child would be a deal breaker for me but that was before I was married with 2 kids. At this point I'm not sure what I would do but I pray to God that I am never in this situation. Cheating, Baby mamas and outside kids Lord I don't think I can deal. But I vowed that is marriage would last forever so I don't know if I could stay or go. But let this would have been 2 years ago... I would have packed me and my son up real quick and left both of their simple asses to have a miserable life together.

Anonymous said...

simple answer is no. I cant stay with a man who cheats on me period, baby or not.