About Me

My photo
The DMV, United States
I'm young, black, single and fabulous!!! Trying to live my life to the fullest before its all said and done with . I'm just trying to figure it all out!


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Married Men?!?! Why not...

….*sips wine*

HER:  I mean I date them because…well…I date them because I know they are able to commit, clearly because they already have a wife or girlfriend or fiancé.  So I know that he is not a afraid of commitment….

ME: *confused face* what are you talking about ma’am? Commitment.. He aint too committed if he is seeing you in his spare time!!!

HER: *shrugs*

I love her to death, I’m not saying she is a bad person but lawd knows sometimes I wonder who and why she was hit with the stupid stick.  Was she really trying to give me a great argument on why she dates men who already in relationships.  Ma’am really?!?! Now my girl Smarty is not a bad looking chick and matter of fact she is pretty damn cute, has a job, her own place and takes great care of her child so when she makes the bad life choices all I can do is wonder who and why was she hit with the stupid stick, cuz at this moment stupid was jumping out of her pores.  I usually don’t inquire about her dating life because we just can’t agree on it but today I guessed I might have just been bored and wanted to know why.  Why would you put yourself in that situation? Why would you want to be a side piece to a man and not his main and only girl?!?!  I knew this would be an interesting conversation if she didn’t jump into her defensive mode and shut up down like she has a habit of during, her famous line is you just don’t understand and she is right I don’t.  Even after our talk I still didn’t get it…well I understood for my own reasons why she does but not the ones she tried to led me to believe. 

Of course she gave the one reason I knew she would..the sex is good…smdh…
Me: So you can’t get sex with single men? Is that what you are saying?
Her: No, I’m saying that attached men just have more to prove. Single men don’t care they figure hell I’ll just find me another chick who will deal.

I was kind of shocked of the second reason she gave me, because she just isn’t the type I would think would seek this out but….I guess I under estimated her.  The power she feels from the “relationship” is liberating she said…

Her: I control the pace of this relationship, I make the calls, I says what or how things are going to go. The power is amazing I’m sure his girlfriend or whomever doesn’t get the power that I have.

Me: I guess *sigh*

Happiness,we all want it and we seek it out no matter what we will admit to or not but happiness is what we all want in our relationships and Smarty is no different.  I was confused on how being the other woman makes her happy.
Her: our whole relationship is built on MY happiness; he does whatever it takes to keep me happy.  From trips, cash to just quality time he is always on it…..*stares out the window* you know what that brings me back to power….he keeps me happy and my happiness first because he knows I have the power to turn his life upside down if I desired to so.
Me: So basically, he has no choice but to provide you with everything you to ensure your happiness because if not you will make sure he feels how disappointed he is.
Her *sips wine* well if you want to put it like that ..Then ok *shrugs*

Commitment…..She knows he knows how to commit…yep she said that he is not afraid of being with one because he has proved that he can do it…I guess.

Her: He is not afraid of commitment; he clearly knows what it likes to be with one woman. So I know when the time comes that he could be with me….

Me: Oh really?!?! Do you really believe that Smarty? Like really? Commitment? Committed? Ma’am he is not capable of that if he is seeing you!!!! He doesn’t know how to commit, he is clearly living two lives…Is that what you want for yourself….He would never just be about you…ever.

I love Smarty again..to hell and back but this right here made me judge the hell out of her.  I wonder if she lives in her own little world thinking that an already committed man could ever be just with her.  If he is willing to cheat now he will do it again and again again, same script just a different cast.  I just didn’t have the time to debate and listen to her foolish answers so I ended the conversation shorty after she spoke on commitment.  I had heard enough, there is nothing..nothing good about dating a married man.  Karma is a bitch and I’m just about sure it will be biting Smarty right in the ass one day.


IceQueen said...

If he is seeing her behind his wife's back then he is no committed. Committed men do not cheat as if they were single. The end.

Your friend seems to enjoy the fact she has the power to ruin his life...with the information she has on him on.
She sadly doesn't call the shots he does, if he cant see her that day because it his wife's birthday then guess what he won't. Side chicks wait around for the men to throw them a few crumbs of their time.

If he was to leave his wife ( a big IF, cos it rarely happens in these situations) she will never be able to trust him because she knows he is capable of cheating. Also why would he leave his wife if he knows she is perfectly happy being the side chick?

Your friend needs to get some self esteem.

LadyNgo said...

IDK how your friend has managed to trick herself into believing that stuff.
Commitment- obviously not
Keeping her happy- He's just trying to keep her quiet
Her control- not even close. Not only do you not control when things happen, you def don't control where it goes. Other than threatening to blow his cover, He has ALL the power.

If nothing else, think about your safety. You don't know what kinda psycho that married/locked-down dude might be attached to. As much as i'd like to say i would keep it classy, i can still see myself beatin the breaks off of a girl like this. Especially if i found out she knew about me and dated him knowing he was taken. *kanye shrug*

Monique said...

Mannnnn.... look, if he is married/attached/boo'd up, trust and believe, he isn't committed to you; he already has someone. Your friend needs to get the crust out of her eyes and be real.

pink. said...

two sayings come to mind...

you lose them how you get them and what he'll do WITH you, he'll do TO you.