"When is it ok to be the other mother?" that is what my friend who we shall call Five-O ask me today will she didn't quite ask me she was just making a statement. As i sat and listened to her talk about she doesn't really know what her place is with her fiance's children...i thought to myslef dang i'm sure alot of females asked themselves that question everytime they get in a relationship with a man who children of there own....I haven't personally asked myself that question yet but after our convo I thought the same about Lil Richmond's children.
Five-O expressed to me that she just doesn't know how to handle certain situations with them especially when you are not their mother... What is the appropriate thing to do in those kind of situations. Do you offer some kind of discipline when they act out or do you just be the other mother who doesn't know what to do? Do you engage in questions and conversations that our suited for a parental role? Those are some of the unanswered questions of the Other Mother. She is going to permanent figure in their lives and around for a very long time but how do you figure out what your role is in all the extra things in the kids lives. Of course no one wants to step on the birth mother's toes or go beyond your role but when you the other "mother" that is around how do go about anything. I have never been placed in the other mother role ever...maybe one day i will be but i have only really dated men who had smaller children where i had an answer for all those questions.
my Question is When is ok to be the other mother? how do you decided what you should and should not do? Who makes you one of the parentals when their biologically ones aren't around and is it ok to be the other mother?