Ta Dah!

February marks me being a good girl and not a having as i promised for myself until May 2011!

It has must harder than I thought it would ever be...*sigh* you don't realize how much you are surrounded by alcohol until you stop drinking it! I swear everywhere I go its a bottle of Ciroc, Wine, Tequila they have been haunting me since I have them up after New year's. And since I'm not drinking anymore it has left me with lots of free time because every weekend my friends are out drinking and I'm sitting in the house! I could go out with them but i think its just to tempting for my soul to handle...I know i would break down and srink if in the club so I stay clear of those places....and since I had this heart to heart talk with StudioGenius about my partying habits i decided to chill on that ...but that is awhole another blog for a different day...

anyway , because of all this new found free time, i found myself doing more stuff in my house , well maybe just my room...I ran out and brought a new sheet set with matching blanket and I was so excited about it...why..idk but it just made me happy ..lol..the little things matter when you don't drink i guess! and to add even more to my new found free time I decide to paint...pause..yep painting...let me say I don't have a home decor bone in my body but for some reason the Martha Stewart in me came out....in which I named Mar'Keysha Stewart. I ran myself off to the craft store and dropped almost 100 dollars on the supplies i needed to paint. At first Mar'Keysha wanted to paint the whole room but then Sunshine clicked back and in and said "heffa please we aint even doing all that"...so instead I painted a couple of pictures so my walls would look so plain and.....

TA DAHHHHHHH!!!

Mar'Keysha Stewart did a great job...well i would say great but a good job it turned much better than I thought it would since I have never panted a day in my life...and since the bedroom art is done..i'm thinking about taking my talents to the kitchen and maybe even the living room! Lawd knows i have more than enough time because the no drinking thing is going on until May!

Let's talk about SEX!

SEX! its an subject that pops up often when some of my friends are sitting around talking...good, bad, kinky sex..just sex....hey its a fact of life right?

Anyway in one of our girl talk moments sex was brought up again....shocking right?!? Anyway I sat and listened my friend who shall call Tiffany Blue talkl about how her boyfriend is the greatest thing since the television was invented but....he was lacking in the bedroom area. Yep its true for the past 6 years she has been having less than pleasurable sex...*bbm straight face* Now i didn't relally have much to say about the subject because i just couldn't relate...well maybe a lil bit from past experinces but i try not think about those nightmares.n Tiffany Blue went back and forth with how much she loves him and sees herself with no else but she often zones out or tries to find reasons not to have sex with him...smh...They all gave her their view points on what she should do from coaching him to maybe watching a porno together and showing what she likes but easier sadi than done. Of course you can do all those things but i think once a man is a certain age he is stuck in his ways and the sex probably won't change...WAIT...that just made me sad for her....I'm going to pray to the sex gods for her to get a great session from him before they get married...and amen.

Tiffany Bluie once again expressed her undying love for him and that she just couldn't end there relationship because the sex is terriable and that was petty, shallow and vain....pause....I guess i am all of those things because I (raises hand) Sunshine have ended a relationship or two because i just couldn't deal with the sex *sigh* I didn't just shut them down but i give 3 times trail and after three gfoes you can't get it together then I'm chuckin' the dueces. I'm sorry i just can't see myself spending my time have just sex....not enjoyable sex..just sex not to mention I can't spend the rest of my life having bad sex...lawd help me I would lose my mind..that can't be life. Of course when those words left my mouth some of them judged me and the others agreed with me...Tiffany Blue had alot to say but just for blog time we will just sum it up as she thought I was being young minded and was thinking with my Cookie box instead of my heart *shrugs* maybe...maybe not...Tiffany Blue doesn't think sex plays a big part in a relationship so its not a big deal....oh ok....

Do I think sex plays an Huge part in a relationship......YES!

Do I think GOOD sex plays a part...YES!

Do I want to spend my life running from sex with my husband because its bad...NO!

So because of that I just can't entertain having bad sex...would i end a relationship over sex...yes

Did I feel bad about....hmmm a lil bit but hey i don't think anything could have been because of the lack of successful sex.

Now since tiffany Blue and I wanted to see what other thought outside of our usually circle I'm asking you guys the question...

SEX....Does It Play A Huge Roll In A Relationship?

Would You Stay In A Relationship Where The Sex Was Unsuccessful...bad?

Random thoughts of the hour...

I have a strong hatred for people who draw their eyebrows on....smh...why did u shave them all off then why?

I'm over the winter! I can't be living my life on the edge every week because it might snow! Spring where are you?!

I guess the honeymoon stage is over for him and I this is when people start being who they really are...lawd i hope i can handle it..lol

I haven't had a drink in almost a month..*sigh* I need a drink bbbaaaaddddd...

Because I am so jealous of these damn trips that Starrla Monae is taking that I shall get in plan mode to get one together for the summer....I need a beach and waves in my life!

My friend is having a baby with a Murderer....*blank stare* yeah..thats all i have to say about that.

I brought the sims 3 to play on my laptop....................I'm addicted to it! lol

I need to find some new books to read so I can curve my addiction to the sims 3

I'm a closest porn watcher...lol... and no i'm not watching porn in a closest!

I'm having Silent Sex!!....no one will understand until its happens to you...

I use to love this Keri Hilson song...pretty girl rock *sigh* but once i saw these hood rats dance to it..it changed my mind...

I have checked my BB 5 times in the last 10 minutes..is this what my life has come to...i cabn't live without it

My 28th birthday is this year*rolls eyes* I'm not so excited about it..

Everybody is tired of Drake but not i ..there are alot of songs out right now that are only hott becuz of his verse...

I am appalled by the triflen shit that men do and the women who deal with it...

I'm still sitting on getting another tattoo i must not be that serious about it because i still aint got one

I just realized that i spent alot time with Gay men...am I a fag hag?

Why does everyone who walks past my desk feel the need to talk to me about every african american who is in the media....like do you think Kanye is my brother and Mike Vick is my cousin.....

Cinnamon Almonds is all i want right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yep...end of thoughts lol

The Other Mother...

"When is it ok to be the other mother?" that is what my friend who we shall call Five-O ask me today will she didn't quite ask me she was just making a statement. As i sat and listened to her talk about she doesn't really know what her place is with her fiance's children...i thought to myslef dang i'm sure alot of females asked themselves that question everytime they get in a relationship with a man who children of there own....I haven't personally asked myself that question yet but after our convo I thought the same about Lil Richmond's children.

Five-O expressed to me that she just doesn't know how to handle certain situations with them especially when you are not their mother... What is the appropriate thing to do in those kind of situations. Do you offer some kind of discipline when they act out or do you just be the other mother who doesn't know what to do? Do you engage in questions and conversations that our suited for a parental role? Those are some of the unanswered questions of the Other Mother. She is going to permanent figure in their lives and around for a very long time but how do you figure out what your role is in all the extra things in the kids lives. Of course no one wants to step on the birth mother's toes or go beyond your role but when you the other "mother" that is around how do go about anything. I have never been placed in the other mother role ever...maybe one day i will be but i have only really dated men who had smaller children where i had an answer for all those questions.

my Question is When is ok to be the other mother? how do you decided what you should and should not do? Who makes you one of the parentals when their biologically ones aren't around and is it ok to be the other mother?

Afternoon Delight

I haven"t done of these in a looonnngggg time....School got all my attention so I hadn't had time to bask in the glory of sexy men until this past weekend while watching football I saw my future baby daddy who I realized never made it to honored by my afternoon delight.....Sorry boo you know I still love you!!

Braylon Edwards

D.O.B. 02/21/1983

New York Jets

I can't rock with the Jets but him is what i like!....ENJOY!

My Babies

This right here is one of my fave pictures....

These are my babies... I watched them go from little crumb snatches to the little men..

I still see them as my babies I still chase them around often trying to get kisses from them which only two of them give them willingly.... I realized after that I saw this pic that maybe I need have a baby or two before they beat to having kids...wwwoooowwww.....as I'm typing this i realized that have changed all there diapers, babysat at least two of them and the little one in the plaid shirt..*whispers* he"s my favorite..i have woke up in the middle of the night to feed and rock him to sleep. Geezzz how times flies. I 'm definitely savoring this moment because soon they will be teenagers in this pic...*sigh* *wipes tears*

I Love Aunt Val

Sometimes I wonder where I would be without my Aunt/Godmother Val. She has always been my biggest fan since I could remember, she has always played a huge role in my life no matter what it was. I can't recall a moment when she didn't have my back even when she knew I was dead ass wrong she stood right beside me and supported my cause.

My Aunt Val was the first person I ran to when the doctor dropped the word Infertility on me, she was there with nothing but supportive words and how she was once told the same thing....it wasn't my mother who eased the pain but her. She watched my become a new person after Roshon died and not once did she ask where the old me was, every time i have ever I needed a shoulder to cry on, advice or just a break from it all it Aunt Val is who I call. She is the mother I never got...the mother that my own is to my sister. She was the one who told me that I wasn't wrong for my relationship with my mother not working....she was also the one who cried with me when i told her about how hard i have been trying to mend it. She pushed me to go back to school even surprised me with a laptop cover in pink and green because she wanted to be a AKA just like her...It is her who knows all my secrets..knows how afraid of love i am and how i can't live my life without her..

I thank God everyday for her...I thank god that even though my mother isn't what i want to be that he blessed me when my Aunt who took on the roll of mothering when she didn't have to