She Slidin' Down The Pole

In the words of my dear friend Epitome "I haven't made it rain on the hoes in a long time!"

When I repeated those words to one of my male friends after he asked me what I was doing Friday night he side eyed me and accused me of having deep feeling so to say about women..maybe even fantasies as he would say. But yeah so I'm strictly dickly and would never cross to the other side I'm just for sure of myself enough to comfortable in a room full of half naked women.

I tried to explain this to my stoopid male friend that nothing about female strip clubs turn me on, it doesn't nothing for me. They slide up and down poles, make it clap and p-pop on a hand stand and still I feel nothing. Actually with all my trips to the strip clubs i have picked up a thing or two from those girl to try out! ..LMAOOOOOOOO

My very first experience with strip club was when I was about 19 or 20, Dog who would let me out of his sight took me with him just to make me miserable but it sure nuff back fired on his ass because I actually enjoyed myself. I drank a lil and tipped the hoes with his money and made all the other men in the club jealous because the strippers loved me. I learned from one of stripper friends that they love straight females in the audience..we tip better and don't them like they objects and lst the more they hang around us the more money they make from guys who are paying them to stay away from us and be about them. After we left the club that night none of the men who i was with could understand why I was so OK with sticking dollars in a thong and even saying that one of them was my favorite stripper for now. I think they thought I was trying to cross over to the other side. From that point forward I always go with my male friends when its time to hit the strip clubs and tip my fave stripper! and they love having me there too! I walk in just like the boys except I'm looking extra girly and fly, take a seat at the tables order drinks galore and tip and might I add I tip very well at that cuz some of those men in there need to get their dollars up before going up in the spot. The nakedness(is that a word) doesn't bother me at all, they ain't got nothing I ain't already seen and since we share the same stuff I see it everyday so watching someone else with it makes no big difference to me. I always use the example to some of my female friends can't understand why i can sit in the strip club is its like watching something on TV like showgirls or one of those HBO specials which I know we all have seen about strippers, I'm not all friggy then and I'm not now. Once you are comfortable with who you and what you like it shouldn't be no problem to watch a stripper do her thing.

Now before you ask about lap dances...*sigh* yeah that not really my strong area I have had once or twice and it just wasn't right for me. I don't want no half oiled up chick rubbing up on me and I hate smelling like stripper when I get home.....that scent is hard to get rid of!

One thing I can say about some of the strippers I have seen is they work hard for there money and I ain't mad at that! I don't knock nobodies hustle and if I was a different person and felt differently about some things I would have no ass swinging around a pole too , some of them bring home big bread. So in conclusion seeing female or hearing about female in the strip clubs doesn't mean they have lesbian thoughts and want to feel them up!!! so stop asking

The end ...lol

Afternoon Delight....

Jay Hernandez

D.O.B 02/20/1978

Actor best known for movie roles such as Crazy/beautiful, Friday Night Lights, and Torque.

Cuz I Like Your Steelo

*cues 702*

"You know how I do,
And you know how I flow,
Can I get your name and number,
Cuz I like your steelo.
And I dig the way you move,
And the way you do your thing,
Baby you can bring it on,
You can swing it this way."

yall wasn't ready for that one at all or even better that I still remember the word to that joint lol...

A male friend and I was having an discussion today what makes a males attractive enough that you approach him instead of a female waiting for him to see her. He told me that he rarely sees women going after guys but they will try their hardest to be noticed like eye contact, eye flirting and smiling.Now for me this was kind of a hard thing for me to answer because Usually if i see something I want or want to know more about I go after it. You can't let a good thing just slip out of your hand and let some one else get the reward so to say. *kanye shrug* but some of us are a little different from others and they just don't get down like that.

So I along with my male friend so he can see if he need to step his game up would like to know what attracts you to man and how strong does it have to be for you to let the stand off girl go and be the aggressive one and pursue him?

A Gift For Me...You Shouldn't Have!

My God Mother always told me to be prepared for a special occassion to roll around and you don't recieve anything, make sure you take of yourself and give a gift to you. When she first dropped that knowledge on me I sided eyed her, shiit i was to young to think anyone to ever forget about me or my birthday, I'm baby girl who would ever forgot me or my birthday, x-mas, valentine's day or any other holiday that involved gifts. I learned on my 16th birthday which also happene to be my sister's graduation day from college that my Aunt was right,...they forgot about me and I wasn't prepared. My family was so excited and wrapped up in my sister receiving her degree that no one noticed the big milestone I was crossing. No cake, gifts or happy birthday wishes my 16th birthday was one of the saddest days ever for me in my teenage years. I learned that my God Mother was telling me something good when I thought she was talking out of the side of her neck. From that day forward I buy myself something for every holiday and I mean every holiday, its just a little thank you to myself for all the hard work I put in throughout the year. Xmas, Halloween, st. Patrick's day I always I have something nice to open up but nothing is quite as special as my birthday. Each year I try and get something that I will forever see and think of the good and bad of that birthday. Last year it was a silver braclet holding mybirthstone in it and when I see it I think of the good times I shared with my friends that night and my brother surprising and ccoming back home east early. This year I want to mark another year of me with a tattoo, if you know me well you probably just rolled your eyes at the idea because I am the proud owner of 9 tattoo so where in da hell would i put another one and that is a good question because I certainly have no clue where this new tattoo will be put all i know is a tattoo is going to my gift to myself. I did have 1 location in my mind behind my left ear I'm going to ink my body with an Adinka Symbol<----- go ahead and click that if you don't know what that is.

I already have this one:

Gye Nyame

meaning:

I fear no man, supreme being or force but God

Just like that one I want to go with some thing that has great meaning and purpose to reside behind my ear. Before I decided that Adinka symbol was what I was going back with this time around I did research other symbols from other parts of the world but in the end my heart was with Adinka and it just seemed right since I already have one. After calling up my ex boyfriends father who is professor in African art and asking for his advice I have narrowed it down to these:

Sankofa

meaning: return and get

symbol of learning from the past.

Nyame Dua

meaning: God's presence and protection

Akoben

meaning: vigilance and wariness.

I think I'm leaning towards the first one but the others hold alot to them to . I got until next month to make the decision of which 1 and the location..soooooooooooo wish me luck!

Afternoon Delight

I've been straight slippin' on this so here is one to hold us over until I more men worthy of the Afternoon Delight title.

Quentin Richardson

D.O.B. 04/13/1980

Miami Heat

If he looks familiar it's because he was once engaged to the singer Brandy.

I wish I could have posted the whole Miami Heat roster because Epitome and I discovered that whole damn team is afternoon delight worthy.

Trolls, Little people and The 2010 Census....

Donna has son a 21 year old son named Kaleb who has downe syndrome, he is one the low end with hid disability so Kaleb is more capeable of spending a couple of hours home alone while his mother works. Donna was no stranger to Kaleb calling with his outragesous thoughts and suggestion so when he called on this day Donna thought nothing of it.

ring...ring...

Donna: Hello?

Kaleb: Mom..God Has answered my prayers and sent me a troll

Donna: Oh really..A troll I didn't know you wanted one of those. Well that's great honey I'll talk to you later

30 minutes later...

ring ring..

Donna: Kaleb?

Kaleb: Mom, The troll won't keep still he keeps running all over the house what do I do?

Donna: hmmm...Catch the Troll and put it in the closest until I get home and I'll find a cage for it.

Kaleb: OK...I will catch him and put him in the closest

5 minutes later...

ring ring...

Kaleb: *screams* Mom...the troll keeps getting out of the closet what do i do? what do I do?

Donna: What?!? ok..just a chair up the the knob until I get home.

Kaleb: Ok I hope that works he is just running around wild I don't want him to hurt himself...

a couple of hours later

ring...ring

Kaleb: Mom, the trollis screaming he is hungry what do I do

Mom: go get some bread and feed him until i get home.

Kaleb: Do Trolls like bread?

Mom: *thinking to herself something isn't right* Ok Kaleb just give him the bread until I arrive home, matter of fact I'm on my way now.

Something just wasn't right, Kaleb had called her plenty of time with his stories of what was going on but this time it just didn't sit well with her. She prayed that when she got home it wasn't some homeless man laying on her coach or a killer in her home.

Donna soars home to see what Kaleb had done, when she opens the front door she can hear noises coming the hall closest...she walks slowly to the hall closest as she screams Kaleb's name to make sure he ok. Fearing the worse or type of mountain lion being stashed in her hall closest she moves the chair and opens up the do with much cation and a broom in her hand just in case she had to beat something down.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

When the door finally opens...Donna got to what god had sent her son...

That's right God had sent Kaleb a little person but not just any little person 2010 census worker who was stopping by to remind them that the census counts for all of us.

When Kaleb open the door all he was the troll that god that he had been prayer for every night. Needless to say Donna was horrified to find out that her son had kidnapped a person and was storing him in the closest. She quickly ushered the man out of the closest, which informed her he had been in for 2 hours. "I tired to run from him but he was just to fast"...so Kaleb caught him and stuff him in the closest and waited for his mother to return home. The Census worker did say that he realized that Kaleb had some type of disability and figure if he calmed down and asked for food hoping that Kaleb would release him but follow his mothers orders he didn't open the door......

:-(

Each and every year for my birthday I try and do something that me and my friends can enjoy or just act like they enjoy its my birthday just put a smile on your face and go along with it. At first I wanted to take a trip somewhere fun, I thought Vegas if we wanted to do something but if not Atlantic City is far but close and we would still have fun. After long hours of thinking I said myself" Self how about we keep it to a minimal until you hit 30 and then do it big." myself was so right maybe I'll save my big birthday blow out until a birthday that came with so much more weight than this one. myself and I have very interesting conversations!! don't judge me.

In my head i had planned out a night of dinner and clubbing nothing to out of the normal. I made reservations for a Chocolate bar for us to do something a little different its the only one in DC i thought it would be entertaining and dance on our taste buds *pause* and then straight to the club and pop a bottle or two in the club.........................................but today all of that became a thing of the past, it was just to many technical problem with the whole situation. Just too many opinions of what i should do and why I do it. I thought I was putting something together that we usually wouldn't do but now I see why we don't usually do things as a big group. I got half who have no problem fronting a little bit of extra cash for the table and others who are as cheap as can be. I thought the number i gave them was what we usually spend anyway we a dub to get in and usually spend $$ on drinks that range from $10- $15 so it kind of evened its self out but i guess i was wrong. I thought that drinking before we go the restaurant, and I'm sure before we hit the club (sn: I don't support drinking and driving, so will only drink at stop signs,lights and when the car is in park) After spending half of my day listening to all these people telling me how they think that's too much , or its not enough money, or enough alcohol I have decided to call the whole fuckin thing off. I just not going to do anything no dinner , no club just sit at home with MY alcohol and watch golden girls or something of that nature and rethink alot of my relationships with certain people. I guess i thought that for my birthday people would suck up whatever problem they had and enjoy the night with me but i guess I was wrong. I tired to explain to them the more people the less money us to front but they didn't want to hear that one at all. I'm really starting to question some of relationships with people...maybe because I would drop the money with without thinking twice about because that's friends do right. I guess that's what certain friends do...SO I guess this birthday will be a straight chill day after all.

Back At It Again B?

"What would happen to me if I was being accused of the same allegations as Ben #justasking" @OGOchocinco via twitter

Good question and I too also wondered the same thing about those charges and what if they were that of maybe lets say Vernon Davis, Devin Thomas or Santonio holmes instead of Ben Roethlisberger..What would have been the outcome for getting accused of rape for the second go around if an African American Athlete had caught those charges because apparently I mean nothing for that of someone who doesn't have an ethnic background.

Year after year some young black athlete find himself in a heap of trouble for something that he was involved in off the field and year after year I watch the world, media and whatever organization they belong to make an example out of them and Let Mike Vick be perfect example of that. Not only that they are sometime penalized for the on field antics and painted as troublemakers and undeserving of what they have. But rarely do we see any others punished the way they are. At first i was going to leave this whole thing alone because other who I have talked to about this said..."oh Sunshine..u always trying to try this into a black and white issue and its not about that.' But what else could it be about. Granted i gave Big Ben a pass the first time around when he first got accused of rape maybe about year ago...true she could have been lying but when a totally different female hits you with the same allegations once again that mean Big Ben sir you have a problem and need to get it address. Apparently you have problems keep those football hands to yourself and now the whole world knows. But do others including the NFL see this as a problem? Nahnot at all. He skates free like before and in a couple of days the world sure as hell won't be talking about him anymore unlike Mike Vick who still makes headlines for his actions.

Today I sat at my desk and watch two of my coworkers discuss Ben and his rape habit...I was disgusted with the way they kept making excuses for his action and how this chick was lying....**blank stare** Its funny to hear how people really think when they think the lil black girl isn't listening but I was. I was going interject but they already think my father is like a black panther or something because I'm quick to support my race and anything else that comes with it so I let it be. But if you know me you know that took alot out of me I can't believe they were sitting here trying to paint his as an saint and her as a gold digger because he won a super bowl or two along with the fact he wasn't a brother committing a crime. these were the same ppl side eyeing me because I support Mike Vick and continue to do...One of them said to me today I could you support such a animal...and I looked that heffa straight in the eye and said the same way you support A rapist by the name of Ben. With the passion and belief in him so now get away from my desk! Rude?.... yes but she was out of line.

So I say just like Chad OchoCinco said I wonder what would have happened to Big Ben if he was an African American Athlete getting accused of the same thing? How would the world and media feel about him? Thought?!? please share.

Lil Freak?!?

Yesterday a friends of mine was talking to be about her break up with her boyfriend and how they got back together before he flew out to Atl. So we are talking about how they are trying to find a middle ground for the relationship she proceeds on to tell me about the amazing make up sex that included alot of hair pulling and ass smacking...she said something must have come over him because they never do stuff like that...**blank stare** Confused yes.....What do mean that doesn't occur on any other day?!? Now I have known my friend let call her S.L. for years probably since the 5th grade and she has always been extra conservative and she never ever talks about sex so she shocked me when sex came out of her mouth but she shocked me even more when she side eyed for saying " so ass smacking and hair pulling isn't apart of normal sex?!?" She called me lil freak *cuing Usher* and said u sooo nasty....No S.L. u are so basic I mean is it missionary all the time with nothing else....hmmmmm...I don't know i feel about that at all...matter of fact that quite bores me half to death...smh...but u know to each's own. I thought i was having normal sex and that was just apart of it but i guess i was mistaken maybe?!?* Kanye shrug*

So without giving me you details of your sex activity what do u consider normal sex and when is the line crossed and it turns into a freak feast?

Xavier The Great

Saturday night had one of the most enlightening conversation with my little cousin Xavier about love, life and everything in between. It was taken back that this little boy who i once helped take care would have such a profound look on life and mine at that.

We laid in the bed Saturday night watching ICarly he turned and looked at me and said..."Day-Day why aren't you married? do you not want to get married?" I pause to sort out my thoughts before i answered him...I couldn't believe that Xavier would even understand marriage let alone why I'm not married but he soon proved that I was so wrong about that. After trying figure out how i was going to word it so he would understand i responded with

Me: Of course i want to get married..I just haven't found anymore that i love more than i love you.

Xavier: * rolls over looks me in my eyes* You are not suppose to love anyone more than me silly I'm your cousin..But you don't love Bird?

Me:*pause* *I had grasp what just happened* I do Love him...just don't think he loves me the same way or maybe he just doesn't want to marry me.

Xavier: Don't say that he does love you that's why he's been around since forever and that's a long time since I'm only 5...ya'll are going to get married maybe not soon but you will and have a baby for me to play with.

Me: Oh really Xay Xay and how do you know this? and Bird just had a baby I'm sure he doesn't want another one anytime soon.

Xavier: I just know...I know you are happy when he's around and i just know u and Bird will be married one day and who cares if he has a baby its not our baby so it doesn't matter..

I convo went on for 2 hours we talked about everything and i was in awwww in how mature my baby was and insightful. I sat and just listened to him and impressed I was he had a deep thought about everything from his father being in jail to me and having children. Before i turned the light off and end our grown up talk which he called it he said I'm glad I have to talk to especially since you didn't tell me boy be quiet....and watch you and Bird will live happily ever after i promise.......

It Felt Right!

This weekend left me so very tired..I'm sitting here at my desk thinking damn i didn't think this one would be over...which i never do. From the moment that my brother touched down in the DMV it was a none stop race around so everyone could see him and so he could get some business taken care of before he hopped back a flight and headed back west. Its rare that any of us get to see him he only comes back a couple times a year so when he is here we all especially my sister and I try to spend as much time as possible with him. It was him being here that i realized that i missed my family oh so much. I get caught up in the rat race of life i never stop to spend time with cousins and Aunts who as a child i spent most of my free time with. This weekend it felt just right to be in there presence and have them around. We laughed, talked, drank, watched my Aunt who was high as kite try to sing Whitney Houston and ate which had to be the most important part of the evening. It was great to just be "me" for a change no make up, no contacts, no body shaper, no fake smiles just Dana. On Sunday we repeated this family time once again first church which my brother surprised us by doing a guess you could say a mini sermon about family which left me and every other female in our family misty eyed he always finds a way to get us with a deep moment or two when he's here then off to my Aunts to eat and be together. I don't know what made this years Easter so special for me it just was. I looked around the room at all the faces who shared the same blood as me and thought i have to make more time for this. The sound of the kids playing, old folks laughing and the phone ringing off the hook just my heart smile its moments like that make you cherish what you have even more than before.

Although all this love and family time was going on I couldn't help but to think about the one's who weren't with us today mostly my cousin Bo who was usually the highlight of any family event with jokes and games...he got locked up 3 years ago and we all miss him dearly...ok well i miss him more than words can explain. He called and we all got to talk to him but its nothing like having him here with us. As i was enjoying the basketball game we played in the driveway I couldn't help but to think about my Bff Tee and how i was missing out on her birthday because i was wrapped up with my family this weekend. I think this has to be the first birthday i wasn't hands on with her in all of our friendship. It wasn't like i didn't want to share in all that was going on it was just my brother was here and seeing him is something we don't get to do often. I tired to do everything i could to make me not being there a Little better but there is no easy way to ease the sting of that i guess. My cousin DJ and i had an whole discussion about me and her and missing her birthday he basically said to me "yall been friends for years through thick and thin and if she is your friend really your friend she would understand why you didn't attend this weekend with a open mind and heart...and if she doesn't then well that's just something that needs to be address head on".....*pause* Did DJ just drop a little knowledge on me...lol...he did and its rare that him and i even talk about real life issues.If we ain't talking about Basketball, Shoes, and .... we shall use those dots so i don't incriminate him then him and i aren't really talking, he must have felt the love in the air.

As long as the weekend was i didn't truthfully didn't want it to end because when it did it meant my brother A.C. was back on the plane for Cali and the family gathering was over...*sobs*

If this weekend taught me anything it was i need to spend more time with them because I'm missing out on so much. We all growing up in one way or another and I don't want to miss out on it.

Happy Birfday!!!

Happy Birthday to my fave girl in the world, my bff Modest Narcissistic!

This is a bond between two people something

that is special.

When you find a friend like you,

then you know you have found a true friend.

A friend is someone nice with a

big heart like you.

As time passes we try our hardest not to grow apart

but our memories will grow larger and we shall

grow smarter.

Our Friendship shall never die

through thick and thin

You are my friend and I am yours

You are the highlight of my gloomy days

the pick me up when i fall

and sometimes the voice of reason

We will always be best friends.

She is new to the blogger world so take a sec and check her out... My Life! My World! Take me how I am.

....

I sat back last night and listened to my brother talk about all he has been through in his life from the good, bad and ugly. Some of those things he left behind and others which he called his demons he fights on a day to day basis. He pulled out a piece of paper which he told us he takes every where, a letter to himself...a letter that contain all that haunts, makes him smile, and loves all wrapped up to remind him of the person he was , still is and wants to be. He reads it every time he thinks that he can't do it anymore or just want to remind himself of who he is. Listening to him read it out loud i learned about this man who I love and admire oh so very much..it was odd to see him at this vulnerable stage and not him holding the fort down for everybody. My respect for him grew so much more.

"We often get so caught up in our everyday grind that we need to stop,take a deep breath and remember what got us to where we are and what still holds us back. I know from personal experience that the people around us sometimes forget that we too need to be loved and supported and we too have our own demons to battle."- My Brother A.C.

i took all that he said last night in account and decided maybe i'll write an open letter to myself....especially since i know he reads this blog from time to time and knows that I always say I'm okay just to keep things moving...

"You need to open yourself up sometimes and let other know what you are thinking and feeling stop keeping it all bottled up to yourself..you might find out that people love and understand you better or maybe even fight the same battle everyday too"-A.C.

Maybe from letter and posting this I'll learn a thing or two about myself.....

Dear Me,

Where do i start with ourselves...hmmm let me see...I've always been the "I'm okay" girl ever since i can remember, i say it even when I'm not OK even when i can't eat or sleep because something is worrying me I tell everyone "I'm okay". I picked that up at young age...Hiding my feeling meant i didn't get them hurt and even though I learned that i end up hurting myself even more i still do it. I don't want other to have to worry about me. You already know that I play the strong, fearless person who always carries everyone else on my back but you know that sometimes I need other to be strong and supportive for me too! i think sometimes the people in my life get so wrapped up in what they need from me they never stop and say "dang, I wonder if she needs something from me" but like you already know I've become accustom to it so I just play my role. Maybe its for the better, maybe its for the worse..

Trusting people is very hard for me i don't trust easily..I have been friends with some people for years and still don't really trust them and is always waiting the worst to happen. I have been betrayed by alot of people before so giving my friends all of me is a far fetched idea for. Trusting men is probably the biggest trust issues i have. for every man besides the one's who share my blood line that i have put trust in has proved to me that they can't be trusted. Even the one man i trusted the most recently betrayed me..it takes alot for me to dish out my trust in others.

I always imagined me being married, 2.5 kids and doing the family thing but all of that ended the moment the Doctor informed me that me having children may never be an option. All those white picket fence, family vacations and giving birth to my first child dream chapter closed and i sealed it with a kiss. I deal with that pain everyday no matter my mood, its hard watching all the people around you have something that i feel i never will. Because of that i keep most men who pursue me at arm length i never let them get to close or wrapped up in me..I feel like i can't provide them with what they are looking for...Everyone tells me that oh one day use will find a man who will love you for you but I feel like i don't want to burden any man with that baggage... i have never ever met a man who didn't children..didn't want to be married, doesn't want a family. I try to bring comfront to the one around me and play the I'm okay with it card just so they can breath easy but even after all these years I'm not. I hold my breath every time my period is late and i shed a tear when I find out. I watch the people around me do all the things i once thought i would and he makes me want to run and cry. We fight that demon the most...everyone wants be to part of whats going on but they don't pause to realize its sometimes hard for me...I'm lying to you its hard all the time. They all want me to be apart of there journey and ride shot gun but they never stop and see how that journey hurts my everyday life. My journey that i take dealing with this i once took on my own..matter of fact the people who pull me on theirs have never jumped on mine. I will say the most unlikely person rode with ride with me because she lives this too and i don't have to tell you who it is because you already know.

We both know that I'm self conscience about myself. No matter what everybody else says about me. I hear oh ur not that big...you don't weight that much, and you are so pretty but that's not he girl i always see. The world gives you nothing but the Beyonce's, Rihanna's and Jessica White's of the world so when we compare ourselves to them we can't match. I think thats were my sassy attitude comes from..protection tryin to protect from myself from people seeing my faults. they pay more attention to my attitude then my body. Now don't get me wrong i love us...to death i just don't see the person that everyone else sees sometimes.

There is certain people in my life i deal with to please others around me. I have people i wish i didn't have to speak to or see but i do to keep the peace among us. I pay much attention to detail so i hear the talk when my back is turned, i see the looks when i walk into a room and watch people's attitude's change when I'm around. It doesn't bother me to much because i know it bothers them more. Smiling and laughing with me doesn't make us Friends or me like you. saying something mean and hurtful and laughing at the end doesn't ease the stink. I watch other try to down play all these things i just want them to know i see it and i hear it and once again those are one of those moments i take a step back and be more about me. My ex boyfriend called it being selfish I call it keep my sanity.

I lost the only man i ever truly trusted and loved almost three years ago. I feel like maybe i'll never love or trust any other man but him. I feel like i'm betraying him by doing so...what we had ws deeper than friendship deeper than what we let other believe and when it was taken away it left me at a dead end street. I often wonder if I'll ever find that again or if I'll ever let another person get that close to me.

At first i thought writing this would be foolish especially to myself but i now see that was the only way to address what follows me around of a daily basis. So i thank you...Me!! for listening and letting me write all of this to you.

Love,

Sunshine...no that Sunshine...you know the real me....so Love Dana.