Friday, September 18, 2009
Khaki asked me a couple of days ago why Bird and I aren't together, and didn't have real answer for her. Usually when people ask me that question I stray away from it, for the past 7 years I have heard that question countless times from countless people and I never have a logic answer for them.
Last night while talking to Epitome about any and everything, I had a Eureka Moment! Now its not a answer to the age old question of "Why Bird and I aren't together" but its a start to the quest for the answer lol.. I realized that the bond I share with Bird runs deep...real deep. Over the past seven years we have been through a lot together. From him travel back forth over seas to death he has always been around to ease or make thing better for me and vise versa. Every boyfriend I have had over the past couple of years could never compare to the relationship I share with Bird. He's one of my closest friends, one of the few people who understand my method behind all of my madness. I see now that I push other males away from me, I keep them I arms length because I try to keep my pathway to and from Bird wide open, I never let any male stand in the way,which I don't know if its a good thing or bad one yet. A part of me feels like I owe Bird that much for all we have been through. Don't get me wrong I do entertain other men, I just don't sit around and wait on him to decide to commit to me but I will say one of the main reason I have no boyfriend is because I always think to myself what if I be with someone else and he decides I'm the love of his life wants to be together....what do I do..Do i break up with the person I'm with to be with Bird or Do I just let Bird go and continue on with my relationship?...See so many question. I decided along time ago I didn't to be put in that situation so I keep my pathway wit him wide open..
Shout out to Khaki for realizing when I talk about future plan he is always included in that..OK OK and she's right I have no real reason for us not to be together..its just me being me. shhhhh..don't tell her that!
Shout to Epitome for having me crying last night..after I told her not to!!!*wiping tear*