About Me

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The DMV, United States
I'm young, black, single and fabulous!!! Trying to live my life to the fullest before its all said and done with . I'm just trying to figure it all out!


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

And You Say He's Just A Friend..

Can men and women truly only be just Friends? that question was posed to me this morning while talking to one of my males cousins. We got into this heated debate about having "just friends" of the opposite sex. I personally say YES!! of course they can. One of my closest friends is that of the opposite sex, we have good times together, we talk about everything and his opinion is valued alot but never not once in my life have I ever felt like it would be anything more. Granted...T-Money is cute and all but I never feel anything sexual for him at all!!! He's never came at me that way and if he did i prolly would laugh my as off at him! My feeling for him only run as an friendship and nothing more..I treat him more like my brother than anything. Now the next question is Does T-money see it the same way I do? and the answer is yes! For the 12 years we have been friends we have always been questioned about our action and he made it a point to let everyone know its nothing more than friendship! So I do have some males friends I would love to give the business to but if you asking me if i can keep platonic relationships with a man then i have and I can... Some of my best and closest friendships have been that of males who have never had any type of feelings for outside of friendship..and of course no sexual contact at all.

"Dogs and Cats can not be just friends"..those are the words of my cousin Sam who believes that I'm lying about having males friends who are just my friends. Sam says that given the opportunity T-money or any of my male friends would be all game for sex. Now Sam has never in his life just had a female friend who has never had any sex with or felt something much deeper for. Which I can totally believe because Sam is one of those types who believe Females can never be just friends with him because sexual tension would drive them into something else. Sam told me that my friendships with males are just friendships in my eye but they are looking at it a totally different way. He confessed to me that in certain situations he lead the female to believe they were just friends so he could just find an easier way to go in for the kill...smh...He sees it has sooner or later in your just friends relationship someone is going to have an change of heart and catch feelings which now compromises the whole situation..Which can be the case sometimes but not in all opposite sex friendships. and he also pointed out that if yo having sex with one of your friends then that person is not your friend anymore but now something else, the feeling change. hmmmmmm.. I feel were he may be coming from but....I see it totally different!

So Now the question remaining is Do you believe Men and Women can be just friends?


Krissy said...

Your cousin is right in a sense. Given the oppurtunity your male friends would have sex with you, even if nothing more came of that. That's just how a lot of men are. But yes, men and women can be just friends. I have a lot of male friends that Im just friends with. Granted a lot of them have been and are attracted to me, but it's not mutual so it stays at a friend level always. But if I were to offer sex, they'd all be game. Every single one of them.

Traci Lavette said...

I don't know girlie, that can get pretty complex. I have been there. Sometimes it gets to the point that you realize that "he" is the only man that "really knows me" and you begin looking at him in a different way. The same happens with them too - at times.

Like Krissy said, friend or not, "given the opportunity your male friends would have sex with you, even if nothing came of that".

mami.monroe said...

i deff feel like if u offered sex they MIGHT take it dependinq on what kind of friend relationship yall have. but if hes / shes a qood friend that wouldnt qo down period. & why would u offer anyway ; hes just a friend.

qood post. (=

JStar said...

Women can yes, but only very few men can...Most men will secretly want you and be patient hoping it just "Happens" one day...

khaki said...

I think it is possible especially if he's not attractive. LOL

seriously, its possible.

dearly beloved. said...

I think its easier said than done.... especially for females. More often than not females can't control their emotions. Just saying. For women its about emotions for men its about sex. So if one party gets too sweeped up in their vices all hell is bound to break loose.

ps. I want credit for naming him T-Money. pls. & thank u.

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

i think males & females can be platonic friends once it's established they aren't gonna get with one another. just like there are a few friends you would give the business too..there are probably more than a few that would give it to you.

i talked about this with another chick and i told her the same thing. just because you put a guy in the "friend zone" don't mean he wouldn't dose you with vitamin D. just means you don't see it. some guys will stay in that zone for a long ass time and as soon as you break up and they think the time is right they come kissing you out of left field.

me personally i get put in the friend zone all the time. and before i know it..chicks come pulling me into the game. it starts with.."you're such a great friend", it moves to, "we are so much alike". then comes, "i don't know what i would do without you. finally, "you think if we got together blah blah blah..". yall ain't slick.

men & women can NOT naturally just be friends. it only happens when you're committed to someone else, you've gone through the thought process of being with that person and decided against it (either one or both of you), or they are just not your type. everything else is fair game.test it out..get naked in front of said male friend. see what happen. lol.