I started to write this blog last night, I had finally got all my thoughts together and was ready to say what I need to get off my chest...but my aunt G came over to break the news to me.My cousin Kenny had passed away and all that I wanted to say seemed so irrelevant and lame. It made all those feeling I felt so invisible and worthless....and that it was.

So I'm taking a break from the cyber world to focus on the real world.........I couple more blogs that I pre posted but other than that my time here is done for awhile.

Sorry Khaki...

So I gave him more than an hour.....I gave him about 5 hours and still haven't heard from him.....



So I guess....



Sorry?

Back to the Basics....

That's what I'm going back to....the Old Me!!!! She was great! and if you didn't know her then get Ready to know her in 2010 cuz she back on the come up. Some of you might love her other will her hate...but ask me if i give a flying fux....cuz the answer is no!!!! lol...

The old me wanted it all...but i thought that's what all girl wanted!!! So say good bye to the new Sunshine becuz she's going back to the old me!

Shout out to my African warrior for encouraging me to be her again!! he said and i quote " I loved her so much more! She was n***a!"...lol..

Talking To Me?

because If you are you should speak on it!.....That's was the conclusion my cousin Kiah, friend Myanda, and I came to early Friday morning when were on our way to those black Friday sales. Now when the three of us get together its kinda like the meeting of the minds, we touch on everything from careers to pregnancy..nothing is off limit to us. Myanda brought the subject of people sending indirect messages to her....and i know if not all of us then some of us can relate to that one. Myanda had a lil beef with her bffs boyfriend and she found out that he was leaving messages on his Fb, Twitter, in emails, all sorts of communication about her, He never called her out in any of his thoughts just said things that other including her could insinuate that it was her! Pure madness I say. The whole situations brought a laugh to all of us .. sad but true that type of stuff happens every day..morning...noon...and night. Me, personally I hate indirect messages. I hate when people make comments and quote about a person or group of people and never call them out on it. The indirect shit just ain't for me...its childish and immature and it makes me smh...maybe I just grew up far differently then some people I lived in a house that when you had something say you spoke on it no matter what it was, it need to be shared so it could be address instead of you sitting on it and just sending out message that the person or persons may never get. Why waste your time and energy on hoping they get the message? Why not just say what you wanna know? You know why....that would be to easy if you just opened your mouth and spoke on it! Wouldn't the hassle of getting your point across be so much easier?...*kanye shrug* maybe its just me. Over my 26 years of this earth I have been the topic of discussion in some indirect messages...Some of them mad me laugh others made me mad but one thing I can say about them are they never really existed to me in my world. One because I don't entertain non sense and secondly if you can't call me out of them..then they don't mean anything to me. I always think people are so bold enough to send the messages to you in whatever form or fashion they put it in but never that bold enough to ask you about it face to face or how ever the way they wanna do it. I can respect someone so much more when they bring it to me instead of hoping I see it and send another indirect message back in answer...how fucking rude is that! So what do they expect you to do send indirect messages back and forth until the problem get resolved or some one gets mad? or u fight lil mama? I mean which one is it. I guess some indirect messages are used to spare feelings or to address it that one time but if you were worried about how a person would feel about it then you should never brought it up and if you didn't wanna talk about it...why put it out there? those are things that make u say hmmmmmm..... I mean whats the worst someone can say to you but give you the answer you were looking for or curse you out about it but either way you are not hiding behind a quote or message that made there way to them. Now as I'm writing this someone brought it to my attention that this whole blog can be interpreted as an "Indirect Message" can I can see where that person is coming from but the only way anyone could take it like that is if you sent me an indirect message...right? so trust and believe if i was sending any kind of message it would be direct.....sorry?

Anyway I look at it like this we are all adults and if you can't like one and speak your mind on it...then whats the use of even bring it up.

...

Lets see if ya'll love this joint like i love this joint......



Untitled


See all I ever want to do is be relevant
just tell me that I ever meant anything
or that you could ever see me and you on another light
but its like the dark winter doors darkest nights by the wrong men mostly all of them have made you some what incapable of a first impression.
What I do is channel my aggression with no cable or antenna just intentions to impress you; incapable, hoping that the material possessions can materialize to a better you;
Cars, nothing I drive can drive better this frame of mind with such an ugly picture in the end; Money, nothing I buy can buy me more time for your ears to say your heart to listen to it; Diamonds, a girls best friend is what they say but believe me with the right allegiance,
You gonna shine anyways and every day that goes by is a couple more lines in her diary the day Before is better then the present so anyone presented in her presence endures her life; sentences, no key for release no reason to be around her minds in the clouds she writes it all down in her diary.

Afternoon Delight...

Last but certainly not least D.C.'s own...

Vernon Davis


smh..I don't have much to say about this one...So ladies just enjoy...



SLLLLUUURRRRPPPPP.....

The 49ers must be proud!!!

Twitter 101

If you don't know let me tell you that I'm a Twitter addict and addicted to it!!! lol....Maybe not all that but I do enjoy my time on there laughing at some crazy people who say some crazy things....cause trust me some funny and crazy shit does go on when u hit twitter......

But I have seen and learned that not everybody knows how to tweet....yes said to say!! smh....Twitter is so basic in what consist of but it is not to be filled up with all of your basic ass tweets!! please can we stop the madness and get a twitter for dummies book cause this basic ass tweetin' is driving me insane!!!

So I have decided to supply the 5 basic things you need to know to survive on twitter....




Thou shall not Tweet Basic Ass Tweets

OK now that right there is basic ass tweet......lol...funny but basic.

Some other basic ass tweets:

I'm Hungry
I'm tired
I need to go home.
The game is on.
My head hurts!
He's/She's cute!
I need a nap!....and list can go on and on.





We don't need to know every effin move you make!!!! and if you want to share it make it a lil bit more exciting...Shit like that will get your ass unfollowed asap. Be more exciting make me wanna keep you around!








Thou Shall Not Give Yourself A Name You Can't Live Up To...

Some many times i have logged into twitter and saw some outrageous ass name of some chick or dude who know they can't live up to!...smh....people we need to stop this shit asap..


Ladies please please stop using the word "barbie" or "five star chick" that's not cute at all...and frankly very basic b*** like... and we better than that!

Fellas: please stop with the I long dick her names and anything that includes the word "swag" in it! smh...that shit is so played and frankly very hood like and I don't like it at all.



examples:......and yes they are real names on twitter..

@meterstckdick
@swagking
@mySWAG2010
@swagarific216
@_5star_
@5star5ry3dr
@Ichinawhtebarbie
@covergirlbarbee
@damnshebadbarbie......please just save me from this ridiculous shit.




Thou Shall Know That Twitter Is Not A Chat.....



This should be self explanatory but for those who don't get it let me show u the way. Twitter is for a quick or short shout out so you can say...Something real short and straight to the point but....



Don't make twitter ur damn form of email! Its set at 140 characters for a reason. There is no reason why you need to type your life story in a reply and keep the damn thing going for hours and hours. If you really need to explain yourself call, email,DM, send Morris code..i don't care how you do it, just don't do it on twitter..cuz we really don't care and u filling my time line up with useless shit...









Thou Shall Not Mistake Fame For Friends

There is no surprise that there are famous people from Lil Duval to Chris Brown lurking around on twitter keeping us entertained from jokes to pic of there everyday lives. Its cool if you follow some of these people cuz i know i do.... it just shows that they are just as normal as us but.....



Please don't mistake Fame for Friends. Don't get on twitter holding conversations with these people everyday like you know them and shit. Every time they tweet you don't have to reply back with your answer because I'm about almost sure u ain't the only one responding. Granted once in awhile maybe they find your tweet and reply but don't get your hopes up, its thousands and thousands of people following that person too, so what makes your tweet the one that stands out?....sorry?...so just stop it with the tweeting celeb every every damn day.


and finally..Thou shall Not Abuse Trending Topics

Oh trending topics how I love thee and hate thee at the same time. Trending topics are just so all of twitter can see what the world is talking about they range from funny topics like #CheatingExscuses to much more meaningful one like #Imthankfulfor, they are there for pure entertainment and that how I like it...but..



Some of ya'll get besides yourself and go in to damn hard on these topics. OK I shall admit if its something I'm truly feeling I'll may tweet and time or two about the trending topic but I don't make every fucking tweet for the next 2 hours a trending topic tweet. First, its only funny or thoughtful the first 100 times you do it by the next 100 we over it and second u just filling y timeline up with this shit and I'm missing tweeting cuz of u. Before u say it Fabolous does it all the time and that fine so its just him clouding my timeline i don't need you to right on his ass doing the same thing...thanks..by the way its not okay for Fab either!



Those are definitely the tools you need to be an successful tweeter! feel free to pass these along we are helping one tweeter at time people.

Involuntary Celibacy

and I don't think I really like at all!!!







None of this:


Or this.....


just nothing at all.....




so alot of this is going on..








*SIGH* saying silent prayer it shall end soon!

Afternoon Delight

Antwaan Randle-El

Another Redskin...Smh..maybe he'll learn..lol..


I will admit he's a cutie

Traci Lavette Asked....

Shout out to Traci Lavette for dropping question #2 on me!! I can always count on her. Also go ahead click that rat there <Beauty In Rare Form> and check her out, she one of my favorite bloggers!

Her Question was:


How did you come up with the theme for your Blog?

Its not a very interesting story but since you asked I'll share. I originally started blogging after I stumbled upon Enigma Jones' blog Life and Times of trifling chick F.K.A. Oral Vex.
It caught my attention and I decided if she can blog about her life and life experiences and people drawn to it that I can too! So I aim my girl B.Kels and I told her I wanted to blog..lol..At first she laughed me out until she realized I was serious. we threw around some titles and it didn't seem to fit. About two days later she called me and said I got it....If you don't like my opinion ...that's fine...At first i was a lil against the title didn't think it would suite what i was gonna right about but after she ran it past why she picked that I Loved it. So the title of my blog fits my attitude 100%! I have always had a "I don't care attitude" I guess you can say. I'm quick to speak on some thing and hold no cut cards. I volunteer my opinion and thoughts with out any discretion and if people don't like what I'm saying...that's fine by me! Hints the title ...U Don't Like My Opinion...That's Fine! Now the content of my blog is just my everyday thoughts...some serious and other not..its just how I'm feeling at the time I guess. At first I thought no one would be interested but I look and see I got a couple of followers so it makes blogging a little more fulfilling.

If You Don't Know

You Better Ask Somebody......




Not about him......About the Cologne!!!!!
that Givenchy will change your life...*sigh*
but him check for him at Irunthroughbabymammas..I enjoy so ya'll might too!

Afternoon Delight...

Larry JohnsonI love this mans smile

Khaki Asked.....

I posted a blog a couple of days ago about Questions Anyone ...I left the floor open for any and everyone to ask me anything they wanted and my boo was the only one to respond...So thanks boo..*side eyein' the rest of ya'll heffa.....


Question: What's the biggest regret in life?

Khaki boo...You straight got me with a deep one right here. So regret.I think Have two of them....one was I never got to tell Ro how I really felt for him. A couple of weeks before he died he sat down with me and confessed alot about his feeling for me. Shocked I was by his confession..he wasn't the type to express his feeling and emotions so it got me by surprise but I never said to much back to him. I never told him that I have been in love with him from as far as I can remember, that I secretly was jealous of all the time he spent with other girls and that I pictured us together one day but that day I smiled and just said I love you too! I had planned on telling him how I felt soon...just soon. Sadly, before i got a chance he was taken away from me and Those feelings and words are now forever just in tangled in my heart. To this day I regret not opening my mouth...not letting him know how my heart really felt for him........

My second regret is not patching things up with my High School friend Daisy before she went into heart surgery in 2001 and she didn't make it. Daisy and I had been on the fence since she had gotten back with her worthless ex boyfriend. We beefed for a couple of weeks and then she announced to me with a brief phone call she was going in once again for heart surgery..I expressed my sorrow about the situation and then ended the call. Sad to say a few days later Daisy never woke out her coma and passed away. I felt horrible about the way things were between us, I was so young and dumb that I didn't want to be the bigger person and suck up my pride and call it truce... and I live with everyday.

Afternoon Delight.....

Kerry Rhodes

I just wanna lick him a lil bit....lol








I love this pic of him...make me wanna sit on his lap...lol..

Questions Anyone

I never thought the day would come when i would run out of things to blog about ......Today that day has come. I poked deep into my volt of thoughts and couldn't find one thing that brought much interest to me to even share with ya'll.

Soooooooo...I decided to leave it up to guys! yyyyyyaaaaaayyyyyyy. Ask me anything you want to know about me or my views on something. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS! I MEAN NOTHING!
I can't wait to see where this will take me!!!

So get the asking!!!!!!!......I'm Waiting...

I Second That Khaki.....

I checked in on my Boo Khakis blog today called and I quote "Fuck Rihanna" and i really surprised at how people feel about her and the 2word quote she left us with. I sat back and read each and every comment some supportive, some not but opinions are opinion and we have to respect them right?

Now I know that Khaki couldn't really touch on the Chris/Rihanna situation to much because she has never been in an abusive relationship but I have so I..ME...Sunshine will do it for her because I think some people are very perplexed by what she was touching on and expressing. So if You don't Like what I have to say then so be it.

I spent 6yrs of my life walking on egg shells, praying that each day would be better, trying to be a better me so u can say..I lived abuse, breathed and slept with abuse everyday for 2190 days, so I'm no stranger to it. I got my lip busted, black eyes, thrown against walls, tackled to the ground, put in the corner "so i could think about what just happen"and choked so abuse and I are very close freinds. So I defiantly know the difference between being abusive and defending yourself.

The Rihanna/Chris Brown situation is a very touchy one just like any other abuse situation but we tend to forget about all the women who were abused longed before Rihanna. Robin Givens, Halle Berry, Faith Evans, Lil Kim, Mary J. Blidge, Eve and the list can go on and on they all were victims but how funny we never mention them. Why is that? hmmmm...makes you think doesn't it. As a victim myself I can say the fear that abuse has on you never leaves. To this day if i cross paths with Dog my heart skips a beat and my breathing speeds up not because I think he's gonna lash out at me but because the fear he planted in my heart will be there forever trust no matter how strong you become that fear will never ever leave your side, its like a monkey on your back

Now with that being said let me say my piece on Rihanna?Chris...My doubt about them two came along time ago but my fuck Rihanna mentally didn't appear until she did her interview this month. 9 months and let me say it again 9 months again all hell broke out loss between you two and you speak on it now..Oh Ri Ri do you really need record sales that bad you have to turn your nose at Chris and paint him as a monster while you play ole holy angel role. Not once has Chris denied his action or sold you out to the public like you ran off to do. Plus October was domestic abuse month why weren't u in these streets helping and holding hands like u claim for the future? I do agree that putting your hands on women is totally wrong but were do we draw our line? Where do u we say maybe just maybe Chris was defending himself? never uh? We sat back and listened to her tell her story of that night but have we ever thought about his side what he has to say...no we haven't and Chris being a respectful man hasn't spoke on it and I praise him for that..why play tick for tack. Have we all just sat back and thought maybe just maybe Rihanna isn't the person she tries to make us believe....maybe the abuse was coming from her and not Chris? have we ever thought that maybe she was smacking and punching him around? No how could we, when the world is to busy crucifying him. That night could have been just his breaking point.....maybe in his mind he vowed that was gonna be the last time for him.Did we ever think he was defending himself!! One thing i have learned over the years is every Action has an Reaction, no matter if its positive or negative something will happen. So you putting your hand on someone just believe they will react to it. In psychology it called your Fight or Flight instinct...your body either fights back to survive or answers to the situation..meaning they might give up...Just think on that for a moment. We can't rule out that he was defending himself now can we?


These type of situations anger me each and everyday.We don't know what went down that night and that we can agree to but I'm almost certain its far more to this story that Rihanna has lead us to believe far more. being someone who lived my life in fear, i truly didn't get that Chris had popping me in mouth for years vibe from her....sorry....Plus after looking back on her action right after the situation I have to side eye her. Chris the man who you say you fear so much was the same man that you jet skied with and laughed it up at Diddy's house? But that was the man u feared right? Well, me coming from abuse can tell you not in a million year will or would sit in a room with Dog being the monster that he is....of course I understood her when professed her love for him but once you reach the breaking point you turn your back and you leave..no living it up and playing house at Diddy's place.

Getting over abuse is a hard process, nothing you just bounce back from. It took Mary and Robin years to be the women they are today. It was rare that they saw them in the limelight..no living it up partying to till the early morning....falling around drunk flashing your coo coo..none of that occurred but with a certain young lady we see it often...very often but I'm just saying. We all have such strong opinions of this situation without weighing all the aspects ...just think what if you were Chris Brown in that Car that night what would you have done? or If he was your son how would you want the world to look at him?

So in conclusion....I feel like Khaki does Fuck Rihanna! feel free to unfollow me if that what u feel!

Afternoon Delight

Shout out my favorite Team The Cowboys for this one.....

Marion Barber

SSSLLLLLLUUUURRRPPPPPP!!

So I like em a lil rough around the edges

Not my future ex husband....I plan to keep this one...just my husband!!!!

It sure doesn't

Your thoughts?

Afternoon Delight...

Shawne Merriman...

U gotta love that body!!! SMH...

He's one of D.C.'s Finest!!! So u kno I gotta love em!

Please.....

And this is how I feel about every man that I'm entertaining in my life right now! Don't get me wrong I enjoy the male attention but they are all trying to pull me in there direction instead of following my lead....because they really need to following lead...lol..I would never lead them wrong when it comes to dealing with me. Each of them want a piece of my precious time...so they can work my last effin' nerve.

First, its Redz who wants to see me morning, noon, and night! No Bueno boo no good! I don't wanna sit in your face doing nothing...talking about nothing everyday of my freakin life...He never really wants to do anything but SLEEP!!! Really I can sleep on my own time at my own house why do I wanna do that with you and since I ran across a way better cuddlier than him, it just made it a lil harder for him. Plus, I think I'm bored with him...You know what I know I'm bored with him. I'm so sick of doing the same shit every time i see his ass.....I mean every time. Can u switch the game up on me once or twice do anything but what we do everytime we are together please...you losing me boo you losing me! I need him to challenge me...give me something to look forward to...because right now I want nothing to do with him....I just want him to leave me alone...Sorry?

Next, Phillay...what can I say about him but I want him to leave me along too! So I think our little thing I'm not gonna call it an relationship works because he is so far away so that male attention I'm looking for isn't here for me to bask in. he still manages to drive me crazy from a distant or maybe I'm just sick of his ass too! *Kayne Shrug* He kinda milks me dry...wants to know so much about me but never gives up to much about himself. Plus everything is wonderful all week long when i hear from him...let me repeat that agaon WHEN I HEAR FROM HIM.. which isn't often at all since he is working in CT..and that's cool but don't call me like I know when u are free to talk or like I'm the one in the wrong. I have a certain amount of times I'll call him a week and if he doesn't return my call then no be it...i keep it moving. And has much as i hate to admit it Epitome was right I always find something in a person that i hate so I don't have to like em and with him I found more than one reason which we aren't going to get into just know I'm tired of his ass too! Plus I think boo still got a chip on his shoulder from dropping $205 on dinner and not getting no coo coo....sorry...maybe but it takes more than some dinner to get your girl...shut up khaki!

The blast from the past Worthless, Worthless, Worthless. Why won't u just let me great and stop sending me all these old photos of us in the happy days...well maybe not happy but the better days. I sucked up my pride and let by gones be by gones since the loss of your Friend but now you texting me everyday is getting old and tired so please stop. I don't wanna see you, I don't want you to take me anywhere to honest with you I just want yo to put new brakes on my car and stop talking to me after that...wrong?...yes.....Do I care?...no!

Last My darling Bird...You to have manage to work my last good nerve and i want you to leave me alone. I feel like sometimes u forget that I to have a life to maintain in between entertaining you. If you think i sit around and wait for that call from you then hmmm u are sadly mistaken! i can't drop everything at your call or rearrange my plans to cater to when u are ready to see me. It just doesn't work like that honey sorry! don't get us wrong I enjoy the time we spend together...oh do I enjoy it but u just wanna disarray my life to fit me into yours.

I know this might just be something I'm going through right now but its the way I feel! Now out of all these fools I would truly sadden if they all especially Bird minus Worthless decided to never speak to me again! it would hhhhuuuuurrrrtttttt! I think I just need a break from them in my life maybe a couple of weekends to myself just to smooth things over! yep that's it just some me time no We time just plain ole Sunshine time.

Afternoon Delight...

James Hardy

SSSLLLLLLLUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPP......

Shout out to Khaki for him rat here!

I asked my mother when i was 9 years old...."When will this all be over?" and with tears in her eyes she said "Baby..never..it will never be over." And so very right she was. That day was the funeral of my 17yrs old cousin Tremayne who was gunned down only feet away from my cousins and I one day in February 1992 and for the next 10 plus years I would attended 4 funerals for some of my friends and 2 more funerals for my ex boyfriend and boo thing. All who were lost in some type of teen violence.

Last night I tuned into 106 & park which i rarely do and to my surprise no music videos were playing...no girls screaming for the hottest stars and no Terrence and Rocsi sharing love taps. The mood was no longer about doing the hottest dances it was filled with sorrow for all the youth who have lost their lives to teen violence. As sat there in my bed watching the faces of these African American girls and boys cross the screen who lost there lives far to early it made me relive those moments that i shared with each and everyone from my teenage years. Violence amongst teens is like the elephant in the room...its there but no one ever seems to want to talk about it....especially the youth. Night after night i tune into the local news and night after night I hear countless stories about young black teens losing there life to violence , guns, gangs...crazy unnecessary violence. I think one thing that some of these young people forget is when the news goes off and they lay there heads down to rest doesn't mean that the story stops there. Just because the hype about the murder has died down doesn't mean the pain and grief of losing a child, brother, sister, aunt, uncle,mother or father stops too! let me tell you that the pain of losing a young family member last for a lifetime. I live with grief and pain of losing each and every friend/family member to this day and I'm 26 yrs old. People say that you will eventually become numb to violence and death but I never did and I never want to.

I grew up on a block were murder and violence were a everyday thing. Where street code was what i was brought up on ...street code is still a way of life. But I also grew up were murders are never solved and people never open there mouths to help. Where I'm from stop snitching was alive long before we broad casted it on countless t-shirts. Stop snitching is the reason why so many killers walk the street today because so many of us are trying to uphold the street code that was enforced upon our lives and for what?Its the reason that so many families never get closure....its the reason that after 17yrs since my cousin was murdered that we still don't know who his killer is. I wonder if any of the people who Don't "snitch" knows what its like to lose a loved one?...do they know what it's like to feel that pain?...I'm sure they do....maybe they just don't care.

Some blame all this teen violence on the music they listen to or the places they live,or coming from one parent homes.hmmmm but me i can't co sign on any of that mainly because I lived in a terrible neighborhood and listened to some of the hardest music and not once did i ever feel the need to kill or maim anyone....because I'm a girl? maybe? but I have an older brother who grew up in the same house and neighborhood, listened from everything from N.W.A. to Ice T and not once did he ever decide to hit the streets hard and shot any and everybody....Blaming it on the music,the environment, the single parent household is just pointing fingers. Its giving everyone an cop out to take responsibility for what has become of our youth because we all play a part in leading them the right way. As long as the youth is misguided and angry the senseless violence will never stop....they will see it has apart of life..apart of who they are. They don't realize there are far bigger wars to fight than one another..far more important things than shooting and killing that we should be focused on.


Nas said it best in is open letter to the young black youth " Dear young warriors fighting the wrong war......You have the ability and mind power to change they way we are looked at. Look who’s watching us young warriors, look who’s throwin us in jail constantly, look at the ignorance in the world. Look at the racist dogs who love to see us down. Lovin to bury us in the ground or in jail were we continue this worthless war on one another. "


So once again I ask the question....."When will this all be over?.....never I guess.

Afternoon Delight...

DeSean Jackson

Shout out to all the sexy rookies of the league!