Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I asked my mother when i was 9 years old...."When will this all be over?" and with tears in her eyes she said "Baby..never..it will never be over." And so very right she was. That day was the funeral of my 17yrs old cousin Tremayne who was gunned down only feet away from my cousins and I one day in February 1992 and for the next 10 plus years I would attended 4 funerals for some of my friends and 2 more funerals for my ex boyfriend and boo thing. All who were lost in some type of teen violence.
Last night I tuned into 106 & park which i rarely do and to my surprise no music videos were playing...no girls screaming for the hottest stars and no Terrence and Rocsi sharing love taps. The mood was no longer about doing the hottest dances it was filled with sorrow for all the youth who have lost their lives to teen violence. As sat there in my bed watching the faces of these African American girls and boys cross the screen who lost there lives far to early it made me relive those moments that i shared with each and everyone from my teenage years. Violence amongst teens is like the elephant in the room...its there but no one ever seems to want to talk about it....especially the youth. Night after night i tune into the local news and night after night I hear countless stories about young black teens losing there life to violence , guns, gangs...crazy unnecessary violence. I think one thing that some of these young people forget is when the news goes off and they lay there heads down to rest doesn't mean that the story stops there. Just because the hype about the murder has died down doesn't mean the pain and grief of losing a child, brother, sister, aunt, uncle,mother or father stops too! let me tell you that the pain of losing a young family member last for a lifetime. I live with grief and pain of losing each and every friend/family member to this day and I'm 26 yrs old. People say that you will eventually become numb to violence and death but I never did and I never want to.
I grew up on a block were murder and violence were a everyday thing. Where street code was what i was brought up on ...street code is still a way of life. But I also grew up were murders are never solved and people never open there mouths to help. Where I'm from stop snitching was alive long before we broad casted it on countless t-shirts. Stop snitching is the reason why so many killers walk the street today because so many of us are trying to uphold the street code that was enforced upon our lives and for what?Its the reason that so many families never get closure....its the reason that after 17yrs since my cousin was murdered that we still don't know who his killer is. I wonder if any of the people who Don't "snitch" knows what its like to lose a loved one?...do they know what it's like to feel that pain?...I'm sure they do....maybe they just don't care.
Some blame all this teen violence on the music they listen to or the places they live,or coming from one parent homes.hmmmm but me i can't co sign on any of that mainly because I lived in a terrible neighborhood and listened to some of the hardest music and not once did i ever feel the need to kill or maim anyone....because I'm a girl? maybe? but I have an older brother who grew up in the same house and neighborhood, listened from everything from N.W.A. to Ice T and not once did he ever decide to hit the streets hard and shot any and everybody....Blaming it on the music,the environment, the single parent household is just pointing fingers. Its giving everyone an cop out to take responsibility for what has become of our youth because we all play a part in leading them the right way. As long as the youth is misguided and angry the senseless violence will never stop....they will see it has apart of life..apart of who they are. They don't realize there are far bigger wars to fight than one another..far more important things than shooting and killing that we should be focused on.
Nas said it best in is open letter to the young black youth " Dear young warriors fighting the wrong war......You have the ability and mind power to change they way we are looked at. Look who’s watching us young warriors, look who’s throwin us in jail constantly, look at the ignorance in the world. Look at the racist dogs who love to see us down. Lovin to bury us in the ground or in jail were we continue this worthless war on one another. "
So once again I ask the question....."When will this all be over?.....never I guess.