About Me

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The DMV, United States
I'm young, black, single and fabulous!!! Trying to live my life to the fullest before its all said and done with . I'm just trying to figure it all out!


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Twitter 101

If you don't know let me tell you that I'm a Twitter addict and addicted to it!!! lol....Maybe not all that but I do enjoy my time on there laughing at some crazy people who say some crazy things....cause trust me some funny and crazy shit does go on when u hit twitter......

But I have seen and learned that not everybody knows how to tweet....yes said to say!! smh....Twitter is so basic in what consist of but it is not to be filled up with all of your basic ass tweets!! please can we stop the madness and get a twitter for dummies book cause this basic ass tweetin' is driving me insane!!!

So I have decided to supply the 5 basic things you need to know to survive on twitter....

Thou shall not Tweet Basic Ass Tweets

OK now that right there is basic ass tweet......lol...funny but basic.

Some other basic ass tweets:

I'm Hungry
I'm tired

I need to go home.

The game is on.

My head hurts!

He's/She's cute!

I need a nap!....and list can go on and on.

We don't need to know every effin move you make!!!! and if you want to share it make it a lil bit more exciting...Shit like that will get your ass unfollowed asap. Be more exciting make me wanna keep you around!

Thou Shall Not Give Yourself A Name You Can't Live Up To...

Some many times i have logged into twitter and saw some outrageous ass name of some chick or dude who know they can't live up to!...smh....people we need to stop this shit asap..

Ladies please please stop using the word "barbie" or "five star chick" that's not cute at all...and frankly very basic b*** like... and we better than that!

Fellas: please stop with the I long dick her names and anything that includes the word "swag" in it! smh...that shit is so played and frankly very hood like and I don't like it at all.

examples:......and yes they are real names on twitter..







@damnshebadbarbie......please just save me from this ridiculous shit.

Thou Shall Know That Twitter Is Not A Chat.....

This should be self explanatory but for those who don't get it let me show u the way. Twitter is for a quick or short shout out so you can say...Something real short and straight to the point but....

Don't make twitter ur damn form of email! Its set at 140 characters for a reason. There is no reason why you need to type your life story in a reply and keep the damn thing going for hours and hours. If you really need to explain yourself call, email,DM, send Morris code..i don't care how you do it, just don't do it on twitter..cuz we really don't care and u filling my time line up with useless shit...

Thou Shall Not Mistake Fame For Friends

There is no surprise that there are famous people from Lil Duval to Chris Brown lurking around on twitter keeping us entertained from jokes to pic of there everyday lives. Its cool if you follow some of these people cuz i know i do.... it just shows that they are just as normal as us but.....

Please don't mistake Fame for Friends. Don't get on twitter holding conversations with these people everyday like you know them and shit. Every time they tweet you don't have to reply back with your answer because I'm about almost sure u ain't the only one responding. Granted once in awhile maybe they find your tweet and reply but don't get your hopes up, its thousands and thousands of people following that person too, so what makes your tweet the one that stands out?....sorry?...so just stop it with the tweeting celeb every every damn day.

and finally..Thou shall Not Abuse Trending Topics

Oh trending topics how I love thee and hate thee at the same time. Trending topics are just so all of twitter can see what the world is talking about they range from funny topics like #CheatingExscuses to much more meaningful one like #Imthankfulfor, they are there for pure entertainment and that how I like it...but..

Some of ya'll get besides yourself and go in to damn hard on these topics. OK I shall admit if its something I'm truly feeling I'll may tweet and time or two about the trending topic but I don't make every fucking tweet for the next 2 hours a trending topic tweet. First, its only funny or thoughtful the first 100 times you do it by the next 100 we over it and second u just filling y timeline up with this shit and I'm missing tweeting cuz of u. Before u say it Fabolous does it all the time and that fine so its just him clouding my timeline i don't need you to right on his ass doing the same thing...thanks..by the way its not okay for Fab either!

Those are definitely the tools you need to be an successful tweeter! feel free to pass these along we are helping one tweeter at time people.


Anonymous said...

This is too funny...but true!

khaki said...

*stands to applause* LMAO

Great post... and so very very true.

Traci Lavette said...

Girl I needed to get this from you a while ago because it was the primary reason I canceled my damn account after having it for only 1 month. I don't give a f**k that somebody fell asleep on the damn bus or all that other ridiculous ass s**t that they think is important. I may reconsider.

Since you're giving all this advice...can you tell me how to change my background when/if I decide to reactivate it???


☆Reese✮ said...

"pass these along we are helping one tweeter at a time people"

Lawd Jaysus!!
And you know I feel you on the last two especially! Damn shame