Forgiveness is hard an rough area for me, I don’t forgive often nor easily. I usually tell me people that God forgives, I don’t (Rick Ross new album name). So anytime I forgive a person it’s a hard thing for me, it takes everything in me to do. I know it shouldn’t be that way but *shrugs*
The most recent time that it was hard to forgive was like a month or so ago. Our friendship had ended abruptly via email. It wasn’t the friendship ending that bothered but more that she questioned my loyalty to her, now I might be a lot of things but unloyal is not one of them. Especially when it comes to flirting with ones bf….anywhooooo after not speaking to her for a year and a half she contacted me via email, I was gonna delete but read it and basically it was a I’m sorry, I was hurt email. I rolled my eyes a hundred times before I finished it. I fought with my heart and mind for days and finally responded with an email, just an acknowledgment email. I can be so mean and I just wanted her to feel a little bit of what I felt when she questioned my loyalty. A couple more days passed and after not being able to shake the feeling of regret from the email and a little advice from lil Richmond, I sent the most heartfelt email back and forgave her. I will say that forgiveness was very very hard for me, but it just felt right in my heart, the year and a half that went by I thought of her and our lost friendship but never once thought of pursuing to make it right.